How Did the Affair Start?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
How Did the Affair Start?
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 4:16pm

How did your affair start?  Was it a stranger, someone you knew beforehand?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 4:19pm

We had been living in our neighboorhood for about 5 months.  AP's family knew some of mine and AP and H got to talking alot and eventually he'd end up over at our house.  One night I had to go out to my vehicle in my PJ set (which was shorts and a tank) and well I bent over and he was standing outside.  I was so embrassed!  I couldn't look at him for a while.  Pretty soon the flirting started and he started showing me bad habits of my H and one thing led to another. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 5:00pm

AP#1, we'd both cheated before, and had joined an "after the affair" type message board.  He really needed someone to talk to, was severely depressed, etc. and we just hit it off.  He's my BF, I tell him everything.  Except about AP#2.   

AP#2, we met three years ago, through blogging of all things.  Bits of chit chat and harmless flirting, mostly business related (his profession, my hobby - photography).  Then two months ago, my dh accused me of having an affair with him, told me to break off all contact, and I emailed him and said, you're amazing, but I can't talk to you anymore because I cheated on my dh and he feels threatened by you, yada yada.  He said, I cheated on my wife, yada yada, one thing led to another...  and here we are, ignoring each other on the public "social" side of life, while having great conversations behind the scenes.  

If they were single, I'd date them both in a red hot second, probably even sleep with them ... but I'd never marry either one.  Can't stand them.  haha.  





iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 6:32pm

Ashley Madison.  Strangers are the best AP because of the anonymity IMHO.  Of course we went to lunches first, clicked on a personal and physical level, got to know each other more and then it happened.  Sometimes after a week, sometimes after a year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 6:33pm

AP #1 and I worked together.  Not in the same department or anything.  My dept and his did projects together.

AP #2 is child's best friends father.  We met about 8-9 months ago at a birthday party.  Intro'd ourselves and it's been a mess since.  His long term SO has moved in and out of the house a few times in the last few months.  We are seeing where things go.  I'd like more, but I'm just not so sure it's feasible.  I think it could be but it requires change on his end.  We really have no limits.  We see each other 2-5 times a week and have gone on dates, out on his boat, I've met his friends and his brother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 9:02pm
AP well I interchange the term AP and DF ever so often because he's still not divorced & I are colleagues. We work in different depts but our paths cross often. By that I mean daily. I was the new girl and I hit on him until he caved. He'll be transferring to another area office soon now our relationship has gone public.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 9:38am

Wow myalternate... I have 2 AP too. Not that  many of "us" on here I don't think. When you say you can't stand them waht do you mean? I don't love either of mine but I don't dislike them either ... they serve a purpose lol :smileyhappy:



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2012
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 1:39pm

Now I am the one in deep, and giving him hints that I may leave my H (was considering this before the A) and he seems to be backing off a bit/blowing hot and cold.

Collect_call , why you want to scare your AP  ?