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| Thu, 09-18-2008 - 11:46am |
Ok so here I go lol. I just turned 26 felt like something was missing in my life wanted to make friends. I went on a site stating that I wasn't sure what exactly I was looking for which I didn't know what I wanted or needed. I have a good husband, one that sooo many women would love to have but we have been together since we were 16 and the fire was out. I honestly thought ok flirt a little online maybe get some of my self esteem back up and like any other time when I was feeling blah things would be back to normal.... Didn't work of course, but instead I met some one who was in the same boat as me. We've known each other for a couple of weeks, talked, txt, offlines everyday. Its been so amazing! we met after a few days of txting and talking at a public place and all of that we just clicked, a few days later we slept together which I would like to add just thinking about it gets my blood running. I was a little worried that things would get weird with us afterwards but it didn't actually made us closer. We have talked and I've been totally honest with him about how I never expected to have feelings more than just friendship with him but I do. Now I'm not saying that I'm in love with him or anything like that and there are no ideas of us leaving our families and he was honest that he felt the same way for me.
my question is..... anyone else with me in a situation like this one where we know where it is headed and honestly I know its only going to be heartache but can't stop the train from crashing?

Hey mommy,
Do I know what you mean! I was M for almost 25 years when I met my AP/BF. I knew right away that I was in love with AP and my marriage ended...just like that. I am crazy in love with my AP/BF...I think he loves me back. We spend a LOT of time together, he's either with me, calling me, or sending me text messages. Right now he's far away on a job but he used to spend 3 or 4 nights a week with me. While this is different from your situation (as you are both not prepared to leave your families) what isn't different is that I know, deep down (as much as I wish it wasn't so) that this thing between us will end one day and my heart will be completely shattered. Yet I'm still with him, I need him in my life right now and maybe by the time it happens (hopefully it doesn't) I will be in a better place and be more prepared.
Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear..even fearing the worse, I can't give him up.
benska
Hi.
hi there!
i've been there , done that , felt that , said that -
sure - no problem !!
is this better??
cherri
Thank you to all that responded to my post!
All I have to say is WOW lol. I know that it is early going on the third week and I don't know if I would say that I'm in love with my ap, I don't know if after knowing someone for such a short time and in this situation if I could be in love with them, I love him yes, he is a wonderful person, a wonderful man. He certainly is driving me crazy, I seem to find myself always thinking about him and he makes my mouth water.:)
We had a play date yesterday, I'm still glowing from it. I was really nervous but oh so excited. He is so sweet and feels oh sooo good. Anyways lol. I know it is still new, things could change but they might not too the only thing I can do since I'm not willing to give my new found happiness up is to go with it and see where it leads me and if that means it ends in a river of my tears than so be it. I'm tired of not living life for me and instead for everyone else, always putting this persons and that persons feelings and happiness before my own. I want to be selfish, just a little bit.
I know that people say at first that they won't leave their families and then one day they decide to so they can start a new life one that is full of happiness and not just half full but I know that isn't me. I see the grass as greener on the other side of the fence but that's because I'm not on that side of it lol. I feel that some times not always but in this situation it's not my situation that makes the grass look greener it's me, if I were to jump the fence instead of just visit than it would dull over time and someone else's grass would be greener than mine, but then what?