HOW DID YOU
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HOW DID YOU
| Thu, 09-10-2009 - 9:35pm |
Okay...so how did you know FOR SURE that you were entering an affair? Is it that it happened one time and you knew it would happen again? Is it that you both discussed it not happening again and then it did and at that point you knew?

I first met AP at work. The first time I saw him something clicked. It was an instant attraction. At the time my H hadnt been giving me any attention or affection and we hadnt had IC for 2 years. That's crazy. Anyway, me and AP began to flirt and smile and speak to each other everyday. Then we started talking at work. He was very open for someone who didnt know me.
I was very naive in this situation. I didnt think the situation through at all. We exchanged numbers b/c he was leaving to go on to another job. I was pretty upset but he promised to keep in contact. he started calling and we began to hang out. I still never thought of it as an A. I guess I was
yes, that sounds like a "let's continue" assumption to me. is that what you want?
When did I know I was entering an Affair? When I found myself in AP's hotel room, with my dress on the other side of the room, lol. OK really, I realized I was in a full blown affair when AP and I started talking about next time, being careful and how much fun we have together.
To me it seems like hes hedging his bets. If he can get you away with all the talk about "with the family" stuff then get you alone he wins. If he gets found out by his W, he looks like the innocent as he only talked with work in mind- you are the agressor- he wins. If you reject him then he can claim you misread his signals- he wins. If you go ahead with the A then he gets his cake...guess what HE WINS LOL!. He sounds like a real piece of work and very good with words. Be very cautious around him unless you want what he has to offer.
SB
Im sorry, my intention was a begrudging admiration on how adept he is at covering his a$$ with words LOL.
If you want to continue the PA, you have the intimate knowledge of what kind of man he is and go by gut feeling and instincts. You work very close with him so you have a firsthand view of the family dynamics. This is a situation i think you may have to see where it goes and how deep you want to get into considering you both will never leave your spouses and a D-Day would be on par with the Hiroshima fallout.
In relation to the recent sweet talk, he may have got an "AHA!" moment where he realizes he has deeper feelings than before.
IMO, get somewhere quiet (no alcohol!!!)and ask him straight out what he thinks of you two on a personal level. No direct cornering of him, just say that you are wanting an honest view of his take of things. In this case, guessing isnt working.
I really hope you work it out. Limbo really sucks.
SB