How did you get caught?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
How did you get caught?
6
Fri, 11-07-2003 - 12:51pm
Hey...i read quit a few messages on here about getting caught. I just wanted some ideas about how one was caught.

My only problem is my cell phone bill. I have paperless billing and my work address is the address listed but if one day my husband ever asked to see it...i'd be screwed. We talk on my phone about 2000 minutes a month...just him and i so you can imagine my cell bill. I thought about getting another phone, one legit and one for him...but that is kinda scary to have two phones. I don't know. Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-07-2003 - 1:17pm
sabrina, i have seen on this board that others have a cellphone dedicated to the MM/OM. seems the safest route. my cellphone is mine, BF has his own.

i was "caught" because i wrote down some thoughts/feelings (about 8 paragraphs) and forgot about the papers. must have raised some suspicions with BF (MM, his W and BF and i are friends and socialize alot). BF searched my closets and old papers and found the little book i'd written in. i denied it, said it was made up stuff, whatever. eventually life calmed down and we have continued our R and mine with MM.

just some thoughts, but be careful, whatever you do,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Fri, 11-07-2003 - 1:31pm
if it's long distance..i suggest a calling card.

i was caught long ago..more like confessed..it was a strange situation. my dh even spoke to om..not friendly conversation though. then months later om and i started speaking again.

om has been like an addiction for me. the last time we ended it..i truly believed that was it. but months later i had the urge to talk to him. when i did i discovered i had hurt him badly (as he did me) and he really began expressing his feelings to me and the thoughts he's been having about us being together.

but now..once again..we're back at NC. no arguments, he moved 3 weeks ago and i just never really heard from him. i still think about him often..but more in a negative way. i think there is so much he is not able to give me emotionally. i keep telling him what i need, but he just doesn't do it. he's the type that you don't push to open up. but boy..when he opens up watch out. so i honestly have no clue what's going on between him and i. it's been pretty much a given that we will always care for each other. but i think we're coming to a point where we care enough about each other to let each other go. i don't expect him to wait for me for 3 years (our timeline). He will be in his mid 30's then..and deserves to have someone that can be with him without all the complications. he wants a family..i have a daughter already and am unsure if i'll be ready for that. and i've even thought that if i were to ever divorce dh i don't think i could get married again. marriage changes everything. you become too comfortable that the other person won't leave so you stop trying to impress the other. i think he realizes he needs to let me go because i would be changing my daughter's life too much. i do care for my dh..but my love has changed. it's more of a i respect him for being a devoted husband and father..than really a passionate love. i'm hoping our vacation in a week will help liven things up since we'll have a week of alone time. i need to be swept off my feet. and om WAS doing a good job at that.

i also told om how much i cared for him and what i loved about him..on a daily basis. i could just see his ego getting bigger. but he really does not return that to me in anyway.

i've really been analyzing my relationship with om..and why i feel the need to have him in my life.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 3:09am
My MM was caught first for leaving hotel bills in his truck, and then his wife became suspicious and called to get his cell phone records.......which he had it password protected.......it didn’t matter, all you need is the persons , SSN, DOB & that’s about it and they sent an itemized list - going back 4 years.......When he denied the affair - she hired a PI......'Little did she know that our A had been going on 12 years.......


Just be careful......

Silly

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 9:52am
Ive never been caught :::knockin on wood:::

However I know that you never write anything down and never keep any receipts or anything incriminating. We always leave receipts at the hotel in the waste basket tore up and I immediately erase any record of calls out to him or received from him from my cell phone (not that DH knows how to check that). I am irresponsible about my cell phone bill records. I keep them in my filing cabinet just as I would any normal bills. I glance down the bills each month to be sure the ratio of calls to OMs # are not numerous and obvious which they never are as I make a ton of calls each month and they are never lengthy calls either...nothing that would incriminate us and label us with Red 'A's!!! LOL

Basically, Ive been really responsible so far and perhaps I could be safer and more precautious...bottom line is DH could walk in on OM and I in the act and Id deny deny deny so it would take just that for my DH to ever be certain of it in his mind....

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 11:45am
Hmmm, haven't actually been "caught" per se, but close calls. Wrote in a journal in vague terms about MM and H began snooping around and read it. Then he read my some emails to someone here about oral sex on MM with questions and H wanted to know who was "MM" (thought it was someone's initials). Told him I's just playin' around.

I noticed he's opening up the phone bills and so I gotta get them paperless. My cell is already paperless but if he were to see them I'd be like the previous poster and be totally screwed as we talk every single day, except weekends.

Have thought about getting a separate cell. I'm leaning in that direction.

Luvin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 12:42pm
Slight twist(I was DH)...How did she get caught?

1st time - STD

In between - either lucky or good girl

Last time - GF#1 calls repeatedly during the evening looking for W (preparing for "girls" weekend on Cape Cod) - W comes home about midnight,explains she was with GF#1 - game/set/match