How did you spend Valentines Day?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
How did you spend Valentines Day?
17
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 11:28pm

Hi all. well Valentine's day is almost over. depending on where in the world you live, it is probably over by now. But who did you guys spend it with, husband/wife or affair person? how did you divide your time? did you you spend part of the day with husband/wife first and part with AP?

if you are a SINGLE OTHER WOMAN, did your mm spend part of the day with his wife and part with you? as an ex-single other woman, a day like this can be hard. at present, i am single, no boyfriend for some time now, so the day passed like any other day, plus i have a deadline at work tomorrow, so i spent it working.

but back to Valentine's day. How did you spend it?

k2002
k2002

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 7:57am

I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:23am

I spent a quiet day with my family.


LOL...I sent AP an email that simple said, "Happy Valentine's Day," and got back, "Same to U."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 9:00am

I went to dinner Saturday with my H. Sunday I spent a quiet day with my H and kids.

I chose not to acknowledge V-day with AP. I do not want to be set up for any disappointment. I don't want to know what he did or got for his W, so I hope he wont tell me.lol I view V-day as a over commercialized marketing ploy by Hallmark. Blahhh!!!!

AP can go to his corner and I will be in mine. I will catch up with him in a few days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 10:43am

I am a separated OW. AP is a MM. I actually don't "celebrate" Valentines day. I think it's just a way over-commercialized holiday. I would much rather get a flower or card or candies on some random day of the year than on a day when it's "expected".

I actually hung out with AP and his wife on Valentines day. They didn't do anything special because they've been having marriage problems and didn't see the point of celebrating it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:37pm

AP and I are both married.


Saturday I made my husband and son a nice dinner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2008
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 3:01pm
My DH and I went out to dinner - a place we went to when we started dating. I am amazed by how much our marriage has improved over the past year - thanks to marriage counseling and a lot of work from both of us.
Strangely enough AP's marriage is also improved over last year and I know he made reservations for them to go out to dinner.
Yet aP and I both yearn for the other and I cannot wait to hear his voice tomorrow. I had a missed call from an unknown number on my phone yesterday and I'm thinking it was him from a payphone even though we said it was too risky to talk over the weekend. I hope it was him because it made me smile . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 12:31am

"I am a separated OW." you mean you are separated from your husband but you are an other woman?

"they didn't do anything special because they've been having marriage problems and didn't see the point of celebrating it."

i am taking note of that. at least they are not hypocrites. A friend of mine on Facebook commented how in some relationships and marriages nothing is going on, but you see people buying big gifts when at other times of the year, nothing is going on. I certainly agreed with her comments. Nothing is going on, it's all pretence and show in public and the buying of big gifts on Valentine's Day, but catch them at home alone and they are not even speaking to each other or hardly ever speak to each other. on the other hand, if you are having problems all the same, sometime you have to make an effort on that special day, BUT YOU NEED TO CONTINUE WHAT YOU DID ON THE ONE DAY. IT SHOULDN'T BE A "NINE DAY WONDER."

k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 7:37pm

Hi all,

Well, I am still in shock...I just had the best Valentine's Day ever. AP/BF and I got together Sunday afternoon, I had called him and invited him for dinner. We decided to think about what we would have while we were playing pool, except that all the food that I had was in the freezer. He knows that I don't really cook so he suggested burgers on the BBQ, trying to make it easy for me I guess :). Well, by the time I hit the grocery store there were pretty slim pickin's...but I picked up some burgers and chips. Told him that there wasn't much at the grocery, so on his way over he stopped at a different one and picked up a bunch more stuff.

Well, I kind of expected him to spend the night (which he did) but I thought that he would leave after breakfast the next day, as he normally does. To my great joy and delight...he didn't make one move for the door at all! I started thinking that come dinner time, he would make noises about leaving...and the later it got, the more I asked if he was hungry for anything. He said he was okay and we continued watching the Olympics. By the time it was 9:00 I knew that he was spending another night with me and we ended up having a midnight snack later on. He finally left in the late afternoon the next day, and I am on cloud nine.

For a (very quick) second, I thought I would have liked him to bring me flowers...but what he actually gave to me was so much better than that. He has a difficult time expressing his emotions, but I know that the time he spent with me was his way of telling me that he does love me.

I am happier than I have been in a long time, and although I wish with all my heart that he could have just stayed...I understand that he needed to go. He's asked me to find skates because he wants to skate with me...lol, don't have any idea why as I haven't skated in at least 30 years! I think he's just looking forward to a good laugh!

Thanks for asking the question k2, I wanted to share my happiness with people who would understand the most!

benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 11:31pm
glad you had a good time. does he always stay over? what does he tell his wife when he does?
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 6:07pm

Yes, he always stays over. He and his wife do not have a relationship, they share a house and that's it. I have no idea what he tells her, if he even tells her anything at all.

My GF thinks his W must know who I am, but I doubt it. I don't think she cares at all anyway. I wonder all the time why she's stayed in their miserable excuse for a marriage...I think she must not have a lot of self respect for herself.

It's a bizarre situation but I am not arguing. He spends the bulk of his time with me and that's a wonderful thing. Do I wish he would just "get off the pot?" You bet! One day we will have this conversation...until then I will love him so well, he might just decide he can't live without me. Hey, a girl can hope...right?

benska

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