how did you win your cake eater or....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
how did you win your cake eater or....
1
Sun, 04-18-2010 - 3:49pm

of if you were the cake eater, how were you won?

I want to know if there was a turning point in your relationship that the cake-eater got off finally decided to take action.

What was it? What are the details and the time durations?

Avatar for earnhardt_jr_fan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 10:12pm

I was a cake eater in my first affair. I wanted it all - ex-AP, my husband, the life I had, etc. AP was a cake eater too - he was married, had a daughter and wanted it all too. That A went on far longer than it probably should have - with both of us repeatedly hurting each other. It was tough - but it eventually ended (though I'm pretty sure he would re-start things in a heartbeat if I showed the least bit of interest again).

When I fell in love with AP/BF something clicked in my brain. I suddenly knew that no one and nothing would keep me from being with him. I had already checked out of my marriage emotionally, but was staying because it was "easier" for everyone. Divorce is complicated. It's emotional. It's so incredibly hard - even if you're the one who wants out. So, I stayed because it was simply easier. Til I met AP/BF and fell in love with him. I knew I didn't want to have an affair with him. I wanted it all. I wanted to be able to go places with him, hold his hand, kiss him, be WITH him - not just stolen moments in a hotel room or whatever. I wanted it ALL. Him. A relationship. Commitment.


It takes courage to walk away from all you've known. It takes courage to leave your life behind and decide to commit to someone else. I think sometimes comfort and ease keep us with someone who doesn't make us happy. I couldn't live that life anymore.

(I just want to add that I'm not criticizing or belittling people who stay in their marriages - for whatever reason. I'm simply explaining what happened to me)

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