How did your affair start?
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| Fri, 03-06-2009 - 7:38pm |
I'm just curious for the posters here, how long did you think about having an affair before you actually did it? Did something push you over the edge, or did it just happen unexpectedly? Was it someone you knew for awhile, or just met?
I guess I would say I'm in the planning stages. I have a good marriage, but it has it's problems. I'm not attracted to my husband, I've had conversations repeatedly with him about taking better care of himself and making himself more attractive. He knows how I feel and what to do, but he is so overwhelmed with certain stressful situations in our lives and he just can't seem to get on top of it. I care about him and love him, but I feel like I'm married to my roommate and best friend. I don't want to leave, and I know we need counseling (he'd be more than willing) but it's not in the cards just yet.
A few months ago, I reconnected with an old boyfriend throug email. We dated 20 years ago, and I was his first love and ended up breaking his heart. We were young, and he didn't know how to communicate. I had high expectations that no one could meet.
We have stayed in touch over the years, as friends. He got married about 12 years ago, I was married and divorced and remarried. We had not talked for a bit, I got the feeling his wife didn't like him talking to old girlfriends. When we reconnected again last fall, he informed me his wife had passed away, and he was a single dad now. We were finally able to talk and reminiss, and he mentioned that he would always love me and that I was the only ex he had that he'd ever want to try again with. I've always wanted him to be happy, and never harbored any ill feelings toward him, I felt the same way and I wish it had worked out.
In our online discussions, he was very flirtatious. He's sent me some extremely suggestive text messages. He lives in another state I will be traveling to next month. We have made plans to see each other, but I don't think that either of us know what will happen. I think we would be friends if the visit is platonic or otherwise.
My problem is that I REALLY want to have an affair with him. I don't know if I should or not (no, I know I shouldn't, but I still want to) and don't know what to do. Just hoping for some perspective and stories from others that may be in my situation.

Wow,
It started from the day I returned his call when he contacted me after almost 30 years.