How do I do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2012
How do I do this?
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 9:52pm

Hello everyone!. I had been a reader on this board for awhile and thought that I would share my situation. I have been in my affair for nearly two months. So far it is has been good, however at times I don't know how to navigate myself. I met him at work, and although it is a big place, we definitely do not want anyone to know. We are both married. This is my first affair. I see him mostly everyday at work professionally, but we get together about once or twice a week. When we do, it's like we are dating. It's fun and exciting. Our cultures are different so there are so wonderful things to learn from each other. I try not to text or call very much, but sometimes I start to feel insecure about what is going on then I do. We talk about wanting our relationship to last and every time I am with him my feelings grow. He tells me the he feels the same way. My biggest concern or fear is that I am going to completely fall in love with him and then this will be over.  Somedays I feel like I am living from text to phone call just to hear his voice, then all my fear goes away. He confessed to me last week that this relationship has grown more than he expected and he was falling in love. How do I navigate myself in this affair? How do I deal with my feelings? I know I am not the only one who has felt like this, but I don't want to mess this up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
Mon, 01-20-2014 - 7:04am

Right now you are on an emtional high and not thinking about reality.We all like when somebody new comes into our lives and all the things you stopped getting with your husband you are now getting from this guy,but reality will set back in after awhile and are you really ready to change your whole life which is what I think you need to remember.I think this sounds like a scrpt for most affairs.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 01-20-2014 - 9:14pm

 Many people do not understand what affairs are.  An affair may be a day a week month or years.  They are a living fantasy.  That what they are supposed to be.  Many are not raised with the knowledge that that is the purpose affairs serve.  Nor do they learn there are guide lines just as there are guidelines for setting a table.  This is a diversion.  It is not real life.  In love is the brain chemicals of a New relationship.  Enjoy it for what it is.