How do I fix this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
How do I fix this?
6
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 4:35pm


hi ladies and guys, mm came back from his week vacation and sent me a message today, all seemed like it was going well until i blew it:(

we talked about meeting this week, and set up our days and things and then somehow the convo changed to this relationship was just for one thing nothing more:(, we aren't bf/gf. I know that but I always thought we had friendship too at least the way I looked at it. He has always been very nice and sweet to me when we are together and in our prior conversations. A lot of work just for one thing if you ask me. (side not we are pa but had not had ic)

Could this be guilt on his part after being away for a week?

what do I do to fix this? decide if I can accept it for what he says or? I am just trying to figure out how this week away changed everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 4:43pm

Aw, hon...

So he was saying it's just for the bedroom action? I know that hurts :(

I think you just gotta ride it out. Remember - actions count and not words. If he treats you good, enjoy it. And if you want to throw him , just agree :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 8:05pm
Mine used to say we are FWB.....but when I said something about him just wanting me for sex, he had a fit. He said that was whack. Men!Doesn't matter what he says it is or it isn't. You both know it's more than that, and his denying it doesn't change it either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 9:24pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 9:57pm
He might have been trying to remind you not to get too attached or to remind you what the original rules were, if any.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2004
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 11:53pm
I would have to agree with you. I've been in an A for a year now and we both agreed in the beginning that this was just FWB, not getting emotional. But my AP does the same with me. He treats me great and we constantly have contact via texting all day, every day. Actions do speak louder than words, but be careful. I very cautiously asked him if there was anything more than what we had, he reminded me of our agreement. I hate to admit it, but I've agreed to that and convinced him nothing else is there. I think it's because I'm so happy when I'm just around him, even if we aren't alone. I could be having a terrible day, but as soon as he walks in the room or I see his smile from across the way, he just lights up my day. I hate to say that I'm keeping him around because he makes me feel good. H just doesn't do that for me anymore. So be careful of what you may have agreed to. It could come back to haunt you if you dive in too much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:25am
Absolutely. I agree to less because he keeps convincing me that hanging in there and being open to the possibilities is the logical thing to do. It goes against my grain, but he's not fooling m either. This is the guy who misread something I said once and asked me what next, now that I was tired of him....LOL.After 6 years I know he's not going anywhere, and we both know it's more than FWB.Men!