How do I keep "love" out of the affair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
How do I keep "love" out of the affair?
4
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 10:26am
So I'm trying desperately not to fall in love with MM. I know if I do, I'll just get hurt. So how do you keep deep emotions out of the A? That's what he wants to do and gets uncomfortable when we have a "touchy feely" conversation. I must be going about this all wrong because isn't a A suppose to be just about sex? Or is that just for men?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:22am

hi ibeconfused and welcome to the board!


you've asked the $1 Million Question!!

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003

Hi ibe,


As Gurl said... the Million Dollar Question... or that would be only half a million in Oz *lol* sorry... just feeling in a good mood this morning.


but it isn't really a question that can be answered... because it can all depend on the person and people involved in each individual affair.


My own affair... did not go that way for some time... intially I felt I was falling in love with MM... but I soon learned that this was more an infatuation stage... he gave me attention in more ways than one and I couldn't get enough.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 10:38pm
Taking it from one who has been there and is still there, the best thing for you to do right now is cease the affair while your still able to. I unfortuneately even though I knew better did not try to stop the feelings I was having, and it was so much harder as he was having them for me as well, and while I wouldn't give up not one moment of the past year and a half, it is taking it's toll now on me. My love for him won't allow me to leave him. Sounds silly I know but it happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
I know that there are so many typs of A's, but mine started out as two friends just talking and helping each other work through problems we were having in our other relationships. It slowly progressed to the FWB stage, but not until after getting to know each other very well and over a period of two months. This was talking on the phone & IM'g each other constantly throughout the day. Once we got past just "friends", we both became emotionally attached to each other. I told him the "L" word first, and know we both know the other has love for the other, so it's a wonderful thing. For us, it was the friendship aspect of the relationship that really started the love, so I don't think he was just after sex.