How Do I say Goodbye?
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| Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:47am |
Something happened a couple months ago. We broke it off for a little because i told him i needed more than he could give....because seeing him was getting sparatic and he was starting to have issues at home. Then I realized what I did and I couldnt and dint want to live with out him at all and I called him. He told me he loved me and that I needed to give him time, be patient and stick with him.
So I tried, but then a friend of his started filling my mind with this rumor that I hadnt been the only A going on for MM and that he was distancing himself from all his friends because his W caught him with the other OW. And I became "nuts" and sent him an email that was short but to the point of "i know about the other ow, and i thought I was different that I mattered...i need to know that I did...please keep our secret" sorta thing. Turns out the rumor isnt true (atleast I dont think so) and i feel like Psycho Bi*ch. I emailed him a couple days after that and said "Please respond, I am so confused" and he never responded. So I waited a couple days and sent him that "i still wanna be friends and if you need me as a friend, I am here....i wont read anything into it"...and he replied with a "thank you email".
Im telling you guys and girls, i swear i love him. More than I have ever known love with DH. MM taught me that there is more to me than the ever obedieant non opionated W that I have come to be. DH is my first love. Met at 18, moved in with him in one week, had first DD 11 months later (DH was my first sexual experience) and so on and so forth....so I have had NO time to know anyother love but DH and my kids)Im 24 now, MM is 32 and I have never loved anyone as much as I love him...but I feel that my breif "psychotic episode and sparatic emails" have pushed him away. I did was I could...told him I would always be there as a friend...but now I am stuck. He wont chat on IM, he wont email me, its as if I am not important as he once told me that he couldnt live with out me. So do I walk away? Do I move on? It hurts like hell but what can I do? Sit and wait for him to acknowldege me? HELP!

GoodLuck,
MaruBaby
i don't know how long you've been seeing the MM, but it sounds like he's pulled away from your immature behavior. yes, you do have to sit and wait for his response. your MM is somewhat older and might be feeling pressure from you to get back together immediately when you just accused him of having two As at once. you have to decide if the "rumor" was true or not. you cannot control his actions, just your own. give him some time and space to absorb your "apology" and "friend" email.
if he doesn't contact you in the next week or so, you'll have your answer. he may just want to end it and walk away. but most likely, he will be back around when he feels safer and/or horny!
keep yourself busy and spend time with your H and children. relax a bit and enjoy the weekend. waiting is HARD!
take care,
gurl
Small world! I am 25 and met my husband at 18. He was also my first. We had a daughter only 5 months after getting married. (surprise pregnancy) I am going through a VERY similar relationship with my MM who is 36. He is changing jobs and I won't be able to see him as much. He has distanced himself (he has a panic disorder and has trouble with change)and I havent talked to him really in about 3 days. (we usually talk everyday) Because of his disorder, I am well aware what is going on ahead of time. I kinda expected it, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have sent him emails telling him I love him and little poems that tell him that I understand and support him ect. He appreciates them and send little notes back. He is going through a rough time right now and as hard as it is not to pester him about seeing me, I shut my mouth and I'm patient. When all is said and done and his mood normalizes, I look like a hero! lol. I've been through this before and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I just wait. When I do get angry, I write out and email blasting him, then hit the send later button and wait until I've slept on it. If I wake up and feel the same way, I send it, if I feel a little better I don't. (I usually feel better after I sleep off my mood)
Depending on what your MM is going through at home, he may see your "psychotic" emails as another problem in his life. If you are there to support him, he will see you as a positive person and maybe even lean on you for support. This is exactly what happened in my EMA, although I have never really blasted him. I am his first call when something is bothering him and he knows I will be there for him. We are truly best friends and that came from a lot of patience with his distancing and sometimes sour mood, but if you love him like you say you do, it will all be worth it in the end.
I don't know how long you've been in the EMA, maybe you could share? I have been in mine for about 2 yrs. We have known eachother since I was 19. Anyway, good luck!
~Miss
I met MM in January (of this year) online...and in person in February. We live only 10 minutes apart. He started distancing himself in July....
Do you know what scares me? Gurl is right. My emails were ignorant and imature towards him and his feelings and what if he DID look at ME like another one of his problems? Actually, that seems really right on the spot that maybe I have become one of the problems that he needs to think about.
He was my bestfriend. In a matter of days, with hours of Im chat, he became my best friend. He calmed me when I was stressed, he made me laugh, he called me his angel and he said that i was the only thing that kept him going. I miss feeling important. We got intense really fast...emotionally wise. Physically wise, we hadnt slept together...just "fooled around" a lot. lol. He told me he loved me all the time, sent me long emails and now...nothing. I even took him off my buddy chatlists because he never comes on messenger. I believe because of me. I see when he visits the local firefighter website (we both are firefighters of different stations) but he doenst come on chat.
Miss...my email is Firegirljeli@yahoo.com if you are interested
Thanks all!
Jeli