I have been waiting for someone to reply to you but since no one is I thought I'd at least say that I am in a similar situation and also don't know what to do.
I love my AP dearly and I know he is my soul mate but my DH is a good man too and a great father, I just don't have romantic feelings towards him and that was way before AP. I too have 2 kids. The guilt about what a D would do to them is one of the main reasons I am still with DH, there are other reasons but that one is the prime reason I feel like I can't leave.
The other side of me thinks what about in 10 years when they are off to college? How will I be happy with DH, stroll down the beach holding hands, etc. I just don't see it.
My AP also lives in another state, so that is another complication to the mix.
I am at the point at which I must sh*t or get off the pot, this limbo land is impossible to live. So, either I break it off with AP and try again to love my DH or I move forward with a separation and see where my life heads as a single women. I know I cannot keep both AP and DH as that is just bad for everyone and I am hurting my DH beyond belief.
To finish off my story, my DH has no idea about AP and my AP is also in a loveless marriage, even more loveless than mine but he has no kids so they are more companions that cohabitate and keep each other company than a loving husband and wife. My DH is a little suspicious just b/c he cannot fathom that I just stopped loving him and haven't looked elsewhere for love. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just tell him but then I just know how much that would hurt him. So here I live in LIMBO LAND trying to figure out where to go.
Hi Drat -
I have been waiting for someone to reply to you but since no one is I thought I'd at least say that I am in a similar situation and also don't know what to do.
I love my AP dearly and I know he is my soul mate but my DH is a good man too and a great father, I just don't have romantic feelings towards him and that was way before AP. I too have 2 kids. The guilt about what a D would do to them is one of the main reasons I am still with DH, there are other reasons but that one is the prime reason I feel like I can't leave.
The other side of me thinks what about in 10 years when they are off to college? How will I be happy with DH, stroll down the beach holding hands, etc. I just don't see it.
My AP also lives in another state, so that is another complication to the mix.
I am at the point at which I must sh*t or get off the pot, this limbo land is impossible to live. So, either I break it off with AP and try again to love my DH or I move forward with a separation and see where my life heads as a single women. I know I cannot keep both AP and DH as that is just bad for everyone and I am hurting my DH beyond belief.
To finish off my story, my DH has no idea about AP and my AP is also in a loveless marriage, even more loveless than mine but he has no kids so they are more companions that cohabitate and keep each other company than a loving husband and wife. My DH is a little suspicious just b/c he cannot fathom that I just stopped loving him and haven't looked elsewhere for love. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just tell him but then I just know how much that would hurt him. So here I live in LIMBO LAND trying to figure out where to go.