I'm not jealous nor do I hate her. However there have been plenty of times when he tells me things she has or hasn't done or says that make me angry and just want to grab her and shake her yelling what is wrong with you - ask doesn't she realize what she's pushing away.
Then reality sets in and the moment passes - I never say anything bad about her to him and also I try to remember that I'm only hearing his side - just like he only hears my side when it comes to my H. Most of the time I don't give her a second thought - if I did I would make myself crazy and there is enough emotional insanity on this rollercoast ride as it is.
I know exactly the feelings you're talking about and they are enough to turn anyone into a complete spaz.
I think the jealousy stems not from seeing their relationship, I think it stems from the accessibility that the spouses have to the person WE wish we could have all the time. At least, that is the conclusion I came to after many months of thinking about it. It wasn't that I disliked HER - I disliked that she could have him whenever she wanted him and in so many different ways.
Getting that jealousy under control is difficult and for me was a long road to walk down.
I actually tried to be friends with his wife before him and i started our affair...i was hoping if i befriended her, i would not develop feelings for her hubby. It didn't work.. what i found out was something that drove me further to him. She is a needy, jealous person who is very insecure and seems to only to like his wallet. Which is probably why he is emotionally attached to me. I am someone he can talk to. I found his wife to be emotionally and psychologically abusive to him, and i can understand his frustration, as i too, experience the same thing with my own H.
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"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
I'm not jealous nor do I hate her. However there have been plenty of times when he tells me things she has or hasn't done or says that make me angry and just want to grab her and shake her yelling what is wrong with you - ask doesn't she realize what she's pushing away.
Then reality sets in and the moment passes - I never say anything bad about her to him and also I try to remember that I'm only hearing his side - just like he only hears my side when it comes to my H. Most of the time I don't give her a second thought - if I did I would make myself crazy and there is enough emotional insanity on this rollercoast ride as it is.
I have NO hatred at all but am a tad jealous.
I know exactly the feelings you're talking about and they are enough to turn anyone into a complete spaz.
I think the jealousy stems not from seeing their relationship, I think it stems from the accessibility that the spouses have to the person WE wish we could have all the time. At least, that is the conclusion I came to after many months of thinking about it. It wasn't that I disliked HER - I disliked that she could have him whenever she wanted him and in so many different ways.
Getting that jealousy under control is difficult and for me was a long road to walk down.
Pages