How do you find time to see AP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2008
How do you find time to see AP?
7
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 10:41pm
i am struggling here because AP and i only get to see each other for small amounts of time. I am married with a 1 yr old and he has a serious girlfriend and she is a psycho. he cannot text or call me as she is on his plan and checks the bills. so we settle for using emails unknown to anyone else and we email constantly during the work week, but on weekends while we are entertaining our "real lives" the emails are few and far between. anyway, the only time we are able to see each other is a brief (read: 20 mins) meeting at lunch in a store parking lot in our cars. that happens about 3 out of the 5 days. and sometimes he meets me after my night class on tuesdays. those meetings are a little more intimate, but not much. we were able to spend about 4 hours a night for 2 weeks together while my H was on a work trip the previous month. i long for those nights again. it sucks so bad not to be able to be that way with him anymore. i need some ideas on how to get him to make some excuses to his gf and ways to excuse myself from everyday life without making it obvious. i NEED to see him more. how do you ladies do it? or do most of your struggle too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 11:58pm

You're getting a lot more contact than I do. Perhaps you need to take a step back and understand that you get what you get and he gives you all he can give you. If you push too hard you'll push him away. If he has to start telling all sorts of lies to get away from the GF then you are creating a recipe for getting caught. If you are in an A with emotional attachment, then you nearly always end up wanting more than you have. If you want to stay in your A then you need to learn to settle for what you can get. I guess it's the downside of being in an A.

I know I want more and more with my AP, but understand he gives me all he can with safety and I'm prepared to deal with that. If at some point I find I can't deal with that anymore, then it will be time to consider ending it with him.

Pisces

pisces
pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2006
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 9:33am

OM and I were very creative at finding ways 2 spend time together:


We would

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 8:09pm
i saw my guy last week for the first time in 3 months--we have limited physical contact but still maintain a close emotional..and yes highly erotic connection....we are going on a year now...i know for him to make time for us is extremely difficult..he told me last week he would be with me every day if he could and i believe it...i appreciate what we both do to make even this limited time together--it is priceless to me...enjoy yours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 9:36am

I'm sorry, but I get kind of amused every time I read post from girls complaining when they can't see their AP more than 2-3 times a week.

Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 9:37am

Theeternal:

Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 12:41pm
oh edwina i always think of you when i miss my ap ...and question our limited time..you and i both know how much they mean to us and vice versa..it is a true body and soul connection and i, like you, would move mountains to see him....(and have) and they do the best they can and risk discovery and all they could lose to keep us in their lives....so we trudge along and hang on..i will tell you one thing, i miss him awful after seeing him..and i've dreamed about him every night since...always the same dream, we are young (like when we first fell in love) and he goes back to college and i don't see him again...interesting huh? thursday he was like--30 years...yes, it was 30 yrs ago this past summer since we first fell in love! see goddess..both our loves--both times--are withstanding the test of time and the trials of limited physical contact
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 1:18pm

"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"