How do you get over an affair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
How do you get over an affair?
1
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 2:13pm
I recently ended a two year affair to work on things with my husband. The problem is, I'm still in love with the other man. He's trying to move on, he may even be dating someone new which is devastating to me. I have always harbored the notion that my lover and I would get to have a real relationship someday, but that notion was dashed when he told me we needed to stop all dialogue and move on with our lives. I love my husband, but it's almost a completely celibate relationship, and I'm not sure if it will sustain me for the rest of my life, but for the sake of our children I will try. Has anyone else been in such a confusing place? How can I let this man go and give myself to my husband?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 3:43pm
i understand how you feel. my om and i have been on and off a lot. usually my ending it most of the times. either i was jealous of a girl he was dating, or thinking i could get on without him. but it never lasted. i would always think about it. but knew i couldn't give him what he wanted and figured he was going on. i'd convince myself that i was happy in my marriage. but it wasn't and still isn't fullfilling. my husband does not give me what i need emotionally. he's always thinking about tomorrow..never about today. always planning what we are doing next in our lives and not trying to enjoy today with me. if that makes any sense.

in the past...with other relationships..i have to have closure. if you really want to get on with your life then you have to end all communication with om. and try your best to improve your relationship with dh.