How do you know it's over?
Find a Conversation
How do you know it's over?
| Fri, 11-28-2008 - 8:26pm |
I am so confused. He told me he felt guilty. He told me we can't anymore. He said we should be friends. We've gone through this before. I always get things started again. I swore the next time I wouldn't and this is the next time. So the last time I spoke to him I just chatted. He didn't seem to want to chat which is not unusual when he is in his "guilt" phase. So what do I do? It'll be really hard not having him in my life. I miss him terribly. But it's also really hard to go from great times to guilt times to great times to guilt times. Do I tell him I need this to stop? Do I tell him I can't do the friend thing? Do I try the friend thing? Any advice at all would really be appreciated. Thanks so much!!


either way an AP like him sounds like a bad case of pms.
My AP is the king of guilt. He told me last week he couldn't do it any more, that his guilt is killing him, can we be friends for a while. I reluctantly agreed that we can still see each other as friends just until Christmas is over (such a hard time of the year), then I would see if I could still go on like that. So at the start of this week we went out to dinner and a movie and he held my hand the entire time and looked into my eyes and it was very enjoyable because we really got to talk. We still kissed and held each other at the end of the night. Yesterday he asked me to meet him at lunch. We held each other close and kissed the whole time. He says he can't do it. Can't stay just friends, so we're back where we were.
This is the first time we've been here. Yes you need this to stop with your AP. You must be honest with him if you can't do this. If he can't do this, then maybe you need to walk away. He needs to sort out how he feels and what he really wants.
Pisces
I've had two A's with my xAP, the first when I was single over 20 yrs ago, and the last a few months ago.
Been there twice in the last six months.
Edited 6/16/2009 6:36 am ET by theeternal
It's over when you have nowhere to go anymore.
I love my AP truly and deeply. There was a deepest and strongest chemistry between me and AP I've ever experienced in my life.
But it's over, he said he "does not know" when he'll leave his home.
I guess he does not love me enough to be with me completely.
And I don't want to be with someone who does not love me enough.
Then it's over.
(((Hugs)))
Vivacious
The greatest pleasure in life, is doing the things people say we cannot do.
-- Walter Bagehot
Let it go, girlfriend.
I am on NC day 4, and going strong. Last time I talked to my AP, I said if he loves me as much as he says he does, he should be with me. No mater what the obstacles are, kids/money/20years of marriage/whatever - if he loves me truly, as he says, then that should not stop him.
Guess what - after me saying it, I haven't heard from him. So much for "true love", what a fr$%^king joke, I can't believe I fell for his crap, that lying, cheating bastard!
I am so over it. There are plenty of men who wold die to make you happy. Why settle for THAT???
(((Hugs))),
Vivacious