How do you know when to call it quits?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2009
How do you know when to call it quits?
15
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 6:17pm

Hello, I have been seeing AP for going on 3yrs now and i've fallen deeply in love with him. He has said "I love you",but I dont know if he actually meant that he is in love with me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 10-24-2009 - 12:36am
ok. so you are the one who is married. ok. why do you feel trapped in your marriage? i don't know your story. I am sorry i didn't get it before.
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2009
Sat, 10-24-2009 - 4:32pm
Hi, Yes I am the one thats married unfortunately. I feel trapped in this marriage because I want a divorce and my husband wont give me one and I dont really have the means to go about it myself. Im only in school and not working right now. The biggest issue for me is that I dont have a good support system to get out. My own mother is not even supportive. I know its up to me but i just wish i had someone to support and guide me through this. I seem to only have the crowd that is around when things are "good."I was hoping that AP would help me but im scared to ask him cause i figured if he wanted to then he would of by now. My husband is very emotionally abusive and has even been physically abusive. He has just about broke me down so thats why I need to get out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Sat, 10-24-2009 - 6:28pm

when the negative feelings outweigh the positive.

~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Sat, 10-24-2009 - 10:27pm

Hi Deandra,


I've been following your story and I'm sorry you feel trapped in your marriage. I'm really going through a situation right now with H and AP but I just wanted to respond. My H and I seperated about 3 months ago. So I know the trapped feeling you are talking about.


If you H has been abusive, I know you are ready to leave. Even though your mom isnt supportive as you say, would she let you stay with her just so you can get away from the abuse? I know you said your H wont give a divorce but he cant stop you from leaving.


If AP wasnt around would you still want to leave your M? We are here to support you. I know I've definitely gotten support from this board and dont know what I would do without it. Hang in there, everything will work itself out. That's what I have to tell myself everyday. I think I'm starting to believe that.


Hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 12:46am
I am so sorry to know that you are going through an abusive marriage. that must be really terrible. What sense does it make for him to hold on to you? As someone else suggested, ask your mother if you can stay with her. Once the abuse starts, it can get real dangerous. What about your friends? Does your affair partner know about the abuse?
k2002
k2002

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