How do you people do it?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
How do you people do it?!?!
12
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 9:00pm

Those of you who openly admit you love each other, who get to see each other regularly...how can it not mess you up?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 9:12pm

Oh one more thing...lol....I have also been thinking about how leaving H would change all aspects of my life, including my A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 9:31pm

I think it's different for everyone, Jane.

For me, it's harder having the feelings out there and acknowledged for sure!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 9:33pm
janejosie wrote:

Oh one more thing...lol....I have also been thinking about how leaving H would change all aspects of my life, including my A.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 9:50pm

You make sense. Sorry to hear you are sick!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 1:08am
janejosie wrote:

Those of you who openly admit you love each other, who get to see each other regularly...how can it not mess you up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 1:33pm

Okay, I'll contribute what I can,but you know this is all pretty new for me Jane.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 5:48pm

Benska-Oh, yeah, your type of R would mess me up BADLY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 8:52pm

All the best with your surgery tomorrow Jane. I hope it's nothign serious. As far as your question, Iknow I was checked out of this M a long time ago. If I wasn't I wouldn't have even entertained an idea of an A. I was gone long before AP came into the picture.If anything, he makes me realize what I have been missing, closeness intimacy, passion and I don't want to spend the rest of my life without that. How and when I am going to dosomethign about it, I don't know,but rightnow this is making me feel very good. I know the

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 11:38pm

Jersey-Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Fri, 10-22-2010 - 6:14am

I have a different perspective as it's not being honest and open with feelings/emotions towards each other in the past that has resulted in AP and I having an A now. I don't think I could continue the A if either of us felt we had to reign in our emotions...so no being open doesn't mess me up it's actually quite liberating. Mine is a LDA so I don't get to see AP regularly and I always want more time with him, I don't know if that would be different if we saw each other weekly or daily.

My M is not good, we don't argue anymore but I put that down to getting my needs met by AP now, so in a way the A has improved my M. I don't like my H to touch me either but felt that way before my A started and is down to the lies and disrespect he showed to me following my discovery of his own A with a co-worker. In a way I don't feel like I'm 'cheating' on him because during MC when he continued to say he had done nothing wrong, despite hard proof of his A, I told him that if the oportunity arose for me to have a similar relationship with another man like the one he had with his co-worker then I would go for it...so I don't feel any guilt. I've thought about leaving, and it would be the 'right' thing to do but I'm dependant on H financially, there are family issues that make it impossible right now and the thought of unravelling 36 years of M is quite daunting, and not something I feel ready to face at the moment...

I may be a bit late in sending you my best wishes re your surgery, but I hope it all goes well and you make a speedy recovery.

Kat

katuk

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