How to gain control
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How to gain control
| Sat, 07-24-2010 - 10:33am |
SO for those who have ready my posts, and those who haven't, I'm still uncertain as to how to gain a little more control in this A so that AP isn't steering the entire thing.
All I can really think to do is stop answering my phone everytime time he calls

I can understand your desire for some control, BUT I've never been much on the "game playing" (no offense to anyone...people do what works in their situations...) and have never had to do the whole "be unavailable" thing. While I totally realize relationships take work, if I've got to work in that way, it hardly seems worth it to me :)
IDK...we teach people how to treat us. Maybe do try to back off a bit and see if he comes to you...you already speculate that he won't, or that he'll take a REALLY long time to do so...if that's "unacceptable"...maybe he's just not right for you.
That said, I don't recall your specifics and pretty sure this is a new A that hasn't been going long...it does take some time to get things hashed out re: expectations. Communication is key :) Tell him what you want/need (and you have to do it in a way that doesn't scare him off LOL!!) and see if he steps up...
I had a lot of people tell me (including my therapist) to be less available early on in my A.
anotherseyes
"My concern about being less availabe is tht since it always takes him 3 days or so to return my phone calls, I figure if I start being less available, the end result wil be not talking to him for 2 months or something!"
LOL!
So, in order to gain more control, care less right.