How to Handle a Crush? Help!
Find a Conversation
How to Handle a Crush? Help!
| Sun, 02-22-2004 - 11:28am |
I have been married for 11 years, have 2 kids, but I have had a huge crush on someone I work with. I've been feeling this way for months now and it's driving me nuts! I feel guilty about this, but I can't stop myself from thinking about him all the time! He is married also, and I'm pretty sure he's feeling the same way because of the way he behaves when we are around each other, but I don't think either of us would ever actually act on our feelings. We would both feel it's wrong to cheat on our spouses. But what do I do about these feelings for him I can't seem to control? It's definitely a sexual attraction (I'd like nothing better than to have wild crazy sex with him), but I also love, admire, and respect his character and personality. I've tried focusing more on my husband (for months now) but nothing is working. HELP!!

Pages
You should pay attention to what the first poster said, it's all true.
If you can't change jobs get to a different deptment in a different building do anything, your huge crush will turn into a huge pain for you and your kids and husband.
If things are bad at homeand can't be fixed leave get into a relationship that you can have in the open.
Run do not walk away from the pain
My situation that I am in now has been terrible and I just ended in Friday via a nasty letter. I have to, it was not healthy at all. The sex was incredible but that was it.... All I ever did was cry over him cause I could hardly be with him and he wasn't very attentive to me in between. Oh he wanted the A, very much, and was emotionally involved with me also but didn't how to handle it so he ended up treated me NOT the way I wanted and deserved.
Now I have to avoid him at work cause it sets me off to the bathroom for a 2 minute cry a few times a day. He works one floor above me so it makes it easier to dodge him but there is always the elevators and the amount of times I have to go to his floor for mail etc. I have to change the times of the day that I go up there cause he sorts knows when I am coming up and seems to be around that area ....
Think of the "time" you would spend with MM on just an average day .... it would probably be maybe 1 hr tops and then think of the time you are not with him.... which would be probably 23 hrs. Is that really worth the heartache???
I am glad you are thinking twice about this. Some women can handle the longing and depression that comes with A's and some have been having their affair for years, you will notice this all as you read on. They seem to handle it very well but I am just warning you of the feelings that happen and they are worse when you are not planning to D your husband. Some women have found their soul mates but they are married so how sad is that when you truly found "the one" and you can't have him. You could fall in love very easily with this guy and one kiss you will be a goner......
If it was me I would probably do something stupid and go out for drinks with him then jump his bones thinking that I am just going to get him out of my system but that doesn't work, trust me.
Keep us informed even if you .... you know.... and don't worry, I won't lecture you if you do I will just be there for you to vent cause I am not one to judge that is for sure.
hi hugecrush and welcome to the board.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
Nothing ever came of it, but we would flirt, and it would feel great, then he wouldn't be in the office, and I would feel depressed, so I either felt totally high on his attention, or totally devastated when he wasn't around.
I got another job about a year ago, so I no longer see this guy, although I still do miss him, but believe me, not being around him has made it better, and although it hurts, it's for the best. Even after all this, I'm not even totally sure how he felt about me, so I couldn't assume anything, because I never confessed to him how I felt about him either.
I did e-mail him a couple of times after I got another job, but he never wrote back, so I'm really glad I left the job, and glad I didn't make myself seem foolish by saying anything to him I regretted.
So, I know how you feel. I wish you luck!
There is nothing horrible about my husband, but I just feel like the OM is so much more like my soul mate. But I could never leave my husband because I care too much about my kids. It would be horrible to do that to them. It really hit home when you wrote about not being able to ever truly be with your soul mate after starting the relationship. What a nightmare!
I am really thankful that you are sharing your experiences with me ... if anything good can come of what has happened to you, it would be that you are helping someone like me sort through everything. Thanks again and I'll keep you posted!
Just a word of warning you will not get him out of your system by kissing or sleeping with him, you'll ownly end up deep in an Affair.
Sorry this soulmate stuff is a load of b/s, it's the newness that makes you think that way.
Noted that you did not concern yourself with hurting your husband perhaps you should find out way.
Free
Pages