How to Handle a Crush? Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
How to Handle a Crush? Help!
14
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 11:28am
I have been married for 11 years, have 2 kids, but I have had a huge crush on someone I work with. I've been feeling this way for months now and it's driving me nuts! I feel guilty about this, but I can't stop myself from thinking about him all the time! He is married also, and I'm pretty sure he's feeling the same way because of the way he behaves when we are around each other, but I don't think either of us would ever actually act on our feelings. We would both feel it's wrong to cheat on our spouses. But what do I do about these feelings for him I can't seem to control? It's definitely a sexual attraction (I'd like nothing better than to have wild crazy sex with him), but I also love, admire, and respect his character and personality. I've tried focusing more on my husband (for months now) but nothing is working. HELP!!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 12:01pm
OH MY GOSH- You and I are in the same boat. (Although, I can only think he has a spark for me as we don't see each other all that often. Bummer). I am 40 and he 43 so we are no 'kids' at what may be on the line. We are both married as well. I have had to tell myself over and over..." this man will never be in my life the way I want him to be". I too have an unspeakable passion and desire for my 'friend'. I would never want him/me to leave our spouses but it the oppty presented itself for he and I to "bond"- believe me, I'd do it. I wish I had words of wisdom for you- it would selfishly help me. I WANT my situation to become an affair and I am a decent, well-educated, professional woman with small kids. ( he has three middle school kids)

For me, my crush keeps me going yet makes me sad as I know nothing will ever happen. Believe me, I feel EVERTHING you're going through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 3:02pm
Thanks to all of you who are writing. Before I found this board I was really going crazy because there was NO ONE to talk to about this. I can't believe how similar our experiences are. Even though I'm still working through this situation, I feel like I have friends to talk to (even though I don't know any of you!). So thanks a million.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 12:03pm
Let us know what happens. I am hoping that someday my 'crush' may reciprocate but alas I feel he is just a tiny bit flirty. I wish I could tell what he thought. I'm no super model but am attractive. His W is a plain-jane but a sweet stay-at-home mom-type. I KNOW what you mean about the kiss and that you would not want it to stop there. MAN- I think about how good 'it' would be. I love my spouse and current life as well, but the spark is gone and I'm still too young to be celibut. (sp?) At least you have the flirting thing going on... I wish I could figure out something to make him at least notice me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 2:55pm
HI Huge

were all glad to help anytime we can.

Free


Pages