how to interpret his words!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
how to interpret his words!!
4
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 3:14pm
Hi everyone. I had an amazing night with my mm last night. We're going to be together tom. night too. But I'm looking for some understanding. Maybe a guys point of view too if there are any lurking..lol For a year now, we've been having a sex only R. We started working with each other and didn't get a long well, but started to get to know each other better and became somewhat friends.. when we were friends, it ended up being a sexual thing..lol

Last night we were together, and he's a talker while having sex..LOL.. he was saying that he's addicted to me and he has withdrawls from me. He says we started out hated each other and now he can't stop thinking about me, and he doesn't want to hurt me. All he thinks about is me ALL the time and not his wife. He says I'm so much better than his wife. Then he says if we were married, then he would have sex with me everyday. He asked me if I ever felt this way about anyone before, meaning a strong sexual connection.. He said he never felt this way about anyone but me.. and he thinks about how it all started between us.. some things I don't even remember until he says them. Then he says he says "this is mine".. meaning a part of my body..LOL.. which I was surprised to hear him say..lol last night was the first time he held my hand also.

Maybe I"m having trouble with my feelings AGAIN I guess.. he's a caring considerate lover and I"m having trouble understading what he means by everything he says. Am I being stupid into thinking he could possibly feel a little more than sexual connection..

AUGH!!! I guess A's are confusing to understand themselves..lol

Thanks for listening and any insight would be appreciated.. thanks

Chrissluver

Gina
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:02pm
Hmmm. This is a tough one. I know in my past, I said some things while in the throes of passion that could have been interpreted as emotional but were primarily just lustful. To me, it is the things that are said when you're not having sex that mean the most. Although, when I'm with my OW, we repeatedly say "I love you" as we get closer and closer. It's a very emotional thing.

I'm not trying to suggest that your MM doesn't care about you. I have no doubt that he does. But the things you're describing sound more like sex talk. I guess that you have two choices here. If you want to keep things somewhat simple, you could avoid the topic. But if you don't feel you can and your feelings continue to build for this man, you may want to just ask him how he feels. Of course, you run the risk of scaring him. But if you feel you need clarification, I see no reason he shouldn't give it to you. Just be careful what you wish for. If he tells you he loves you, does that make things more or less complicated? Good luck.

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:05pm
Sounds like you have something great going!!!!

Enjoy the things he says during sex........isn't it fun to have someone willing to say risque things like that?? My MM and i are totally perverted. That's part of what gets us going about each other.....we enjoy things other people don't. Don't be bothered by anything he says during sex....he's enjoying all the things he has *wanted* to enjoy...with YOU!!!

i am SURE he has some emotion for you. It may not be "love", or it may be eventually and isn't now, but he can CARE about you....want you...care for you....appreciate you...think you are amazing in bed....all these things are great things, and aren't necessarilly love.

RELAX AND ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the name of the game :)

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:22pm
chrisluver, wow your mm sure talks a lot girl. :) One thing that endears me to my OM we always hug after the deed. He is usually the one who says things like "I luv you" or such during sex but I like to say it all of after its over. LOL I gues everyone's got their style. Just relax and have fun!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:31pm
I agree with all of you.. thanks for your input..Yes, he does talk and ask alot..LOL.. sometimes when I have my mouth full and I can't answer him..LOL I'm gonna relax and enjoy EVERY moment that we have together.. which is like once every 2-3 weeks, but this week I get a treat.. I had last night and Tom. night with him.. YUMMY!!!!!!!! LOL

Have a great weekend..

Chrissluver..

Gina