how long did you wait...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
how long did you wait...?
5
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:19am

If you met your AP on a website, how long did you typically wait to meet them in person? I am a woman who is trying to be cautious, but at the same time, not overly cautious... Sometimes do you feel like you know someone over IM-ing after a few days.. sometimes does it take weeks?

I am trying to get over xap and find myself wanting to meet up quicker than I normally would, trying to fill the void...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 1:42am

Take your time dear...for me three months--same situation looking for a distraction from an xap kinda sorta...finding a friend and lover...don't rush it and BE SAFE!

If there is a connection you will know it...Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 8:22am

Don't count on "knowing" if there's a connection, many con men (and women) convince people that there's a "connection" when they're just after something.

But we run the risk of meeting people like that anywhere, not just the internet.

Follow your instincts about it. And make SURE someone knows that you're meeting this person, and everything you know about them. Meet in a very public place to start out with. Married women who don't normally share this sort of stuff with ANYONE are kind of vulnerable in these situations. But maybe you have an online friend that you can share with. Tell her or him that if they don't hear from you in a certain amount of time, to go to someone in your real life with the information. Most likely that's being TOO cautious, but better TOO cautious than not cautious enough.

I would recommend this with anyone meeting a stranger, whether it's from online or some other means of meeting.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 8:44am
Oh, I forgot to answer your question LOL. I had "seen" my OM around the message boards for awhile before we actually e-mailed, and then it was after three weeks of emailing when I met him in person (and he was acting like I was waiting too long!) I knew a girl online who had met him previously, so I was fairly certain he wasn't a serial killer or anything LOL. She also knew the day we were meeting and was waiting to hear how it went (AND she knew where he lived, having been there), so I felt safe.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 10:32am
...


Edited 7/26/2009 10:50 pm ET by goblinqueen79
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 11:19am

I met my AP online and we waited 3 months to meet in person, though the fact that we are very long-distance also played into that.