How Long Do You Wait?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
How Long Do You Wait?
2
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 7:42pm
I've been having an A for 7 months, we are both M with children. We dated over 20 years ago, and met up again. We seem to have it all together (I guess just like everyone else on this board) My question is, how long do you wait until they decide to make a move as regards to moving the relationship along? We always talk about leaving our spouses, but he seems to be more unsure time wise then me. I feel if you are pretty sure that this is right, then do what you have too get there. We are both in our 40's (not kids), and no matter how you slice it or dice it, people are going to get hurt, now or later, so why wait? If he's making up excuses then I want out. I'm not in this for fun or for sex. But how do you know when enough is enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 8:04pm
Hello Want

Only you know the answer to that question.

You should do some research into the stats of A, I understand that only about 2 percent of MM leave there wife for the OW (other woman) and of those that get together only 2.5 percent make a go of the relationship after leaving there spouses.

If your marriage is truly bad then leave it for your sake not in a vain hope of being with MM (married man).

Be warned that most MM will do or say just about anything to drag the A out as long as possable with out commiting to the other woman, for the sake of getting what ever they are getting (sex and ego gratification in most cases).

I have heard it said that the best way to end an Affair is to live with the affair partner 24/7 thats when you get to know the real them and they get to know you warts and all and how little of your needs they were really meeting, most needs tend to be supplied by the spouse unknown or forgotten by the more emotionaly commited female AP.

You sound pretty smart and pragmatic ,so consider these words to the wise.


TRYING

P.S I will not post to you a second time unless requested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 8:24pm
trying, wow..sex and ego gratification..that pretty much says it all!!! its so true, the last time my mm left here he said "i dont get this at home". however theres something to be said for receiving ego gratification :)