How many Christmases?
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| Wed, 12-24-2008 - 1:35am |
How many Christmases have you been through with AP? Has it gotten easier or harder to be apart during the holidays?
This is my fourth with AP, and I guess I'm just resigned. This year I have to say I'm more engaged in all the festivities than during the past three years, which is good considering I have kids. They're past the Santa stage, but I still wrap presents and put them under the tree for them to find on Christmas morning.
H and I... well, we're hot and cold. Or rather, lukewarm and cold. I don't know how many more years we'll be married. Truthfully it's all about maintaining my lifestyle and finances right now, especially with uncertain economic times. I think if we won the lottery we would both suggest we get divorced. It's not that we hate each other or anything. We're a great team as far as parenting and making a nice life for our children. We look like a happy couple. We just can't communicate effectively with each other and our interests are so different. Sex isn't good either.
Anyway, got off topic.
I know AP is spending his holiday with all his kids and grandkids who came into town. He'll be ready for some peace once they all leave.

Hi. This is my first Christmas with Ap...we started 5 days NC today because of the holidays and time at home, yada yada yada. I'm hating it...but he made me smile when he asked me how "we" would survive 5 days...so at least his feelings are intune with mine about this.
I just know I cannot wait til Christmas is over and Monday is here. I miss him soooo much. We are used to seeing one another 2x/wk but because of kids out of school, plus, AP's W works for another school district near out hometown~~she has been off work all week, too.
He was kind of teasing me when he said "wow and a week is bad, what happens when everyone is on summer break?"
I do not even want to start to look that far ahead.
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
this is the second christmas for us. The first christmas was difficult on both on us because we had only been in the A for 6 months and therefore our trust and feelings were not as grounded as they are now. This time im fine with it, we had our own special christmas last week, we spent a day and night together and it
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
This is our third Christmas together. This year has been FAR easier than the last two. We were supposed to see each other next week but he had to cancel. Previously, I would have been devastated and angst ridden about it. Now, I'm like ...:whatever". These things happen. Life doesn't always work out in your favor. I hope that he has a nice time visiting his family. I wish there was a way for us to make time to see one another but there isn't.
I miss him terribly. He makes my feel so good. I will hold out for sometime next month to see him hopefully(LDA).
As I settle in and know that he loves me I become more secure in our relationship and I also have less fears. I know that I treat him well and if he can find someone to treat him better, he can have at it. He has always had the upper hand in the relationship but not anymore. With time comes confidence and a certain peace, if you will.
Now I'm rambling. There is my answer!