How many times have you ended it
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How many times have you ended it
| Mon, 04-12-2004 - 8:43pm |
Hello everyone. I am a bit confused.
I recently had my first affair after 20 yrs. of marraige.
It lasted 5 months, was great, full of passion, etc..
He is the one that ended it, said he wasn't eating, sleeping, mood disorders, etc.
We work together, so no contact was not an option.
After about the first 3 wks., he started to change. He started opening up more with
me and joking etc. That spark in his eyes had re-appeared when he would look at me and talk to me. I asked him last week if it was just me, or did I still see something in his eyes, and he said "yes you do, sometimes."
Well, on my way home from work today, he called me. Said he had been thinking about me a lot lately, and he wants us to be together again, he said he misses me and misses the great chemistry we had.
I know not to expect anything more than an affair with him, I never intend to leave my husband for him, nor does he plan on leaving his wife.
I know how hard it was to going back to being friends the first time, the second time will probably be harder.
I also know that it is much easier to slip back into the affair if you are around each other on a regular basis.
How many of you have ended it or had the other person end it, just to start it back up later, was it better the 2nd time around???
I really do want to be able to spend time with him, but am so confused.
I recently had my first affair after 20 yrs. of marraige.
It lasted 5 months, was great, full of passion, etc..
He is the one that ended it, said he wasn't eating, sleeping, mood disorders, etc.
We work together, so no contact was not an option.
After about the first 3 wks., he started to change. He started opening up more with
me and joking etc. That spark in his eyes had re-appeared when he would look at me and talk to me. I asked him last week if it was just me, or did I still see something in his eyes, and he said "yes you do, sometimes."
Well, on my way home from work today, he called me. Said he had been thinking about me a lot lately, and he wants us to be together again, he said he misses me and misses the great chemistry we had.
I know not to expect anything more than an affair with him, I never intend to leave my husband for him, nor does he plan on leaving his wife.
I know how hard it was to going back to being friends the first time, the second time will probably be harder.
I also know that it is much easier to slip back into the affair if you are around each other on a regular basis.
How many of you have ended it or had the other person end it, just to start it back up later, was it better the 2nd time around???
I really do want to be able to spend time with him, but am so confused.

GB2
Is it better or worse after the initial break up? Speaking from my own experience, I was extremely wary of his intentions. Our first breakup was when his W thought he was fooling around (rightfully so!), and gave him an ultimatum. He went to counseling with her and for three months, played the role of the good husband. He sat behind me at work and it used to simply gag me hearing him on the phone with her kissing her @#$, ugh. I'm not really sure what made me cave in to him the second time around, but probably was the passion between us that drove us back into each others arms.
If I were to give you any advice, it would be to protect your heart and try to take it slow. When I became involved with my MM, it was at a time in my life where I was an emotional wreck and very vulnerable. Quite frankly I fell hook, line and sinker for this man, and to this day he still owns my heart. I would also caution you if you are the kind who has a problem with guilt feelings (like me, even after all this time). Other than that, hold on and enjoy the ride girlfriend!!
Take care,
Virgogirl