how much do you tell your mm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
how much do you tell your mm?
3
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 4:23pm
How many of you tell your MM exactly what you are feeling or what you want out of your R with him? He says that he wants me to tell him everything but I doubt that he really wants to hear how that someday i would like it to be more than it is now. I know there are men who read and post here, do you want your MW to tell you everything or are some things better left unsaid?

 Seeburg    

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 4:36pm
I have issues with revealing my feelings but have tried to come clean with my mm. We are both a little guarded on the feelings but both know that we are in love with each other. As far as where we want the relationship to go we are very upfront about it and always have been. We started out just for sex and told each other thats all we wanted. When we started seeing each other more we decided to make a deal that we would always be upfront with our intentions with the relationship. Now we have everything out on the table. We both want a future with each other. Sometimes I wonder if this was a bad thing but being honest only brings you closer. That may be a good or bad thing depending on what you want and what you can handle.

I don't know if that helps. I know my MM is very insistant on hearing how I feel and what I want. Men often want to hear more than they are willing to share usually I think because they are insecure with how strong they feel. I could be wrong on that its just my opinion. I know I wish he was a little more open in talking about his feelings but I cant say much since I have the same issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 4:47pm
thanks that does help.... I know that i hold back some of my emotions because i am not sure where he wants this to go. I think that I know how he feels but its never been discussed. I agree that men hold back more than women. If I am going to lay it all out there for him I expect to get the same thing back.If it turns out its all onesided then i will deal with that when the time comes.

 Seeburg    

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 7:15pm
I've considered coming clean myself. It started as just sex and we have been growing closer and closer over the course of our on/off 1.5 year realtionship. It has become more than sex but neither of us will say it. I know what I wish for, however I'm quite sure that will never happen as he has been very upfront about the fact that we will never be "together". The thing that keeps me from being honest with him is that I know that he will run scared, especially since he has left several times before when it was all about sex citing that he doesn't want me to become dependant on him. I can just imagine how fast I'd lose him if I *told* him how I feel.

what craziness!