How my heart breaks..
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How my heart breaks..
| Fri, 01-16-2004 - 9:19pm |
I was suppose to meet my lover today. I know he had a business meeting at work but he hasn't called me at all today. I'm pretty sure he's with his live-in g/f and can't call me. Either that or something has happened. I'm sitting here feeling lonely and aching for him. I planned the evening out with the two of us since my H is away on a business trip. Now I sit here alone. Why is it so hard to let go. I know I should but I don't want to. Everytime the phone rings, I jump up and hope it's him. And it's not.
This is so much tension that I don't need. But spending time with him makes up for it. It just hurts that I've been planning this for so long and I can't even see him. When will I learn. When will I learn that I should let go....... I can't.... I don't want to...

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It's not really worth it is it - until we finally do meet up with them, and all the doubt washes away. I fully understand you and like I say, I don't have any advice. I'm sorry about that. I will be watching your other replies myself but we both know what we really want - is it going to happen for either of us??? Good luck and my very best wishes to you.
P x
Sorry, I'm just upset. Oh how I miss him. :( I didn't mean to fall for him like this. Damn, this hurts so...
My heart goes out to you. It hurts so much. You want to scream & throw something. All you can do is hang in there. I've been thru it too. Many times and unfortunately, it still hurts.
I've been in my A. for almost 4 years and we still go thru that, but even though it still is hard, at times, to deal with. I still do because I love him.
I don't think we ever learn. We just somehow, within ourselves, deal with it.
We stay because we rather have them in our lives then not.
Love to you both
I am sorry you are feeling like this but trust me I totally understand.My H works out of state so I too am home alone when I am not with my MM. Its hard to sit home alone while the person you love is spending time with his family. The only advice I can give you is to just hang in there and get a friend to go do something with, do not just set home alone.
As much as I hate to say itthere will probably be alot more of these cancelled meetings.
When it hurts more to stay in the R than to end it, you will know its time to stop.
until then you just grin and bear it.
Hope that helps
SB
Seeburg
4 years! That's what I say too, lol.
I can't believe it's been this long either. There've been many times I have wanted and actually ended our R. because it just gets to darn had to deal with it. The thing is I always wind up back because of the love I have for him plus I know he loves me so we just continue.
That's funny you mention the paraanoia. I have my bouts
Listen to everyone....keep yourself busy, and do not dwell on it. Also, whatever you are imagining them doing...they are probably not. So take comfort in that! :)
gc
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