How my heart breaks..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
How my heart breaks..
14
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 9:19pm
I was suppose to meet my lover today. I know he had a business meeting at work but he hasn't called me at all today. I'm pretty sure he's with his live-in g/f and can't call me. Either that or something has happened. I'm sitting here feeling lonely and aching for him. I planned the evening out with the two of us since my H is away on a business trip. Now I sit here alone. Why is it so hard to let go. I know I should but I don't want to. Everytime the phone rings, I jump up and hope it's him. And it's not.

This is so much tension that I don't need. But spending time with him makes up for it. It just hurts that I've been planning this for so long and I can't even see him. When will I learn. When will I learn that I should let go....... I can't.... I don't want to...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Sun, 01-18-2004 - 8:55pm
Well it's Sunday night and my H will be coming home soon (he was in Detroit and coming home to NY). He just called me to tell me he's going to spend the night at his brothers house.(He also went with H) So I'm here thinking this could have been another day I could have been with my lover. And no, I still have not heard from him. Maybe it's me. Maybe he doesn't want to get too attached..... Let me stop speculating. I'll find out when I speak to him.(who knows when that will be)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sun, 01-18-2004 - 10:51pm

Don't do that to yourself...


Hang in there!!!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 12:40am
I know how you feel. I am hurting right now too and I can't let go. My MM is feeling guilty about the affair and is needing his space. I just can't stand it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 11:08am
I also am still hurting. Its now Monday and some of you will know I said I was going to try to get hold of my MM today - well, I've been calling his mobile just getting ansaphone and 10 minutes ago it rang out - but he didn't answer and hasn't called me back. What do I do now. continue with the paranoia and try to be happy when kids and H get home? This stinks - but like somebody previous said, just the thought of not being with them at some point in the future even if just for a few hours makes me continue..

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