how not to get caught?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2009
how not to get caught?
6
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 3:42pm

So ladies/gents out there in A's. I'm fairly new to this and am wondering what your tricks are not to get caught? My AP lives a few hours away so we don't see each other often, it's mostly phone & internet communications. Should I worry about my cell? The statements do not have numbers on it but I think you can request them though it's not in H's name.

I do not want to ruin my marriage but also am completely convinced that this A is what I NEED! Please don't try to convince me otherwise on that one - nobody can.

So my questions are:
1. how do you best communicate
2. Do you wish for evening calls for some version of phone sex
3. how do you explain trips
4. any other forms of communication that are safe

TIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 3:54pm
haha...if
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2008
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 11:15am

1. how do you best communicate

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 6:56pm

I used to like to give tips on avoiding discovery. But after being here and lurking here for such a long time, I've come to the conclusion that nothing is safe, so I can't really give any more tips! I think "tips" can give people a false sense of security, like "oh, I'll be fine, I'll never be caught, I'm following all the safety rules!"

Just remember, no matter what you do or how careful you are, there will always be something you'll forget, or your AP will forget, or something will happen that you never even imagined so you never prepared for.

For instance, my AP and I use the internet to communicate - pretty exclusively, except for real face to face time. I think of it as the safest communication. But if my H became the least suspicious, there are tons of programs he could buy that would break my passwords and get into my e-mail. I don't think they even cost very much.

I think the only thing you can do is be as careful as possible with whatever method you choose, and know that you might be discovered anyway. That's the real reality!

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 02-06-2009 - 1:51pm

I totally agree with you lexione. No matter how careful you are, no matter how many precautions you take, karma/fate or whatever will eventually trip you up and yes you have to be prepared for that. At best you have to exercise as much caution and discretion as you can manage. Which is hard because I know we both get desperate to be with each other.

Don't leave your messaging cell phone lying around for someone else to pick up and read.
Never save messages or emails or whatever even though they have sentimental value.
If someone starts to get suspicious about something like texting, etc. stop immediately and find some other form of communication.
Change the locations you see each other fairly frequently.
Don't take anything for granted .... just a few thoughts.

All this sounds rather paranoid and so it should be! An A can be incredibly exciting and exhilarating to breath life back into you again but it can also bring your world crashing down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Fri, 02-06-2009 - 6:31pm

So my questions are:
1. how do you best communicate