How often do you see your MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
How often do you see your MM
27
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 4:16pm
just want to know from everyone how often do you get together sexually? do any of you go for lunch with your MM or just talk on the phone? and how often?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 5:07pm
In our 14 months together we've progressively seen more and more from each other. We started out with just emails. Then moved to lunches once a week and now twice a week. Usually once a week (for one of the lunches) we have a picnic or take a walk but the other times we go to a nice restaurant (my choice!). We get together at our "apartment"; which is really "Days Inn" about once a month but I have a friend or two that sometimes loans us their houses. During the week we talk on the phone at least once a day and a lot of times even more; plus the emails and text messages. And every once in a blue moon with have an evening date (movies, dinner, whatever!)

I consider myself very luck to have so much time with my sweetie!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 8:06pm
MM and I talk on the phone on the average of two times a day...normally once during the day and once in the evening...if we are seeing each other that night, the phone calls can be more as we are making plans. As for seeing each other...I can see him once a week or I can see him five times a week...it all depends on our schedules...his is usually a lot busier than mine...although we cannot get together for lunch (we work too far apart from each other) we do go out for drinks at least once a week.

I am very lucky I get as much time with MM as I do...and I cherish each and every minute I am with him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 8:10pm
I get to see my MM about once per week (sometimes 2x) - usually it's pretty quick, not alot of time for dinners etc. But..that's ok - I cherish anytime I get with him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 9:51pm
SO and I see each other quite a bit. We see each other alone in my apartment 5 or 6 days a week and I'd say we have a sexual encounter probably 3-5 times a week, most weeks. It's not always quite that numerous, but usually it is. Once or twice each week, it's after work when we have a bit more time together. Other times it's during work. I live a mile and a half away from the office, so it's easy enough to arrange.

But to put it in perspective, we've only just started sleeping together. For the previous eight months, we explored other aspects of each other and were having such a great time, ;-), that we held off until recently with the big event.

That's a question I'd like to have answered, since we're being so honest, lol. How many of you have had intercourse, and how many of you, like me and SO, have only "made out"? What do you think about that? For the first couple of months, it was frustrating because this started out being only about the sex and the only thing keeping us from sleeping together was one misfortune after another that caused us to reschedule. Then, once I was sure I was leaving H, and we realized we were in love, SO felt strongly that we shouldn't have sex, because that would be a major problem for me if the divorce turned nasty and I had to go to court. He wanted me to be able to say, honestly, that I'd not slept with him. (Can you say Bill and Monica??? lol) Now that the D is in the works and he sees that H probably isn't going to cause any problems for me, he's relaxed on that a little. We still don't 'do it' very much, mainly because we get so satisfied with other activities. But IC is nice, too. :-D

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 11:18pm
I am so jelous of all of you. This A I am in, we hardley get together due to his parnoia. I think it is easier for the woman to get out, use shopping and stuff as excuses and we are just smarter. Now these married women... (and I am one too) are SMART!! I can honestly say I would know in a minute if my H was cheating so I can understand the men and why they are more cautious. Anyways, back to the subject... We used to email and then he stopped that totally when I got my own cell phone. We have been together sexually only 6 times in the 4 months we have started this horrid A but he has tried about 15 times but he calls too late and I am sleeping. We could NEVER go for lunch cause people would talk big time cause we really don't work in the same area so "why would they know each other" would come up for sure. Just the few times I have went to his office we have gotten looks and yet we both don't have a bad reputation or anything. We hardley talk on the phone, used to at the beggining and when he was in the chase mode he called alot. Now the head games are just too bad and I am not phoning him like I used to. We both have spouses and kids so our houses are off limits (except one time at 10:30 on a Friday morning when we snuck out of work and that was not good at all) a nervous wreck the whole time.... I didn't even have an O.... One time was a hotel and I had to pay...... (he makes 3 times more than me, figure that out... but he only had a credit card so I understood) and he paid for all the cabs that night we used cause we were both drinking so we didn't have my vehicle to do it in... So, yes, my vehicle has been the place to do it for the other times and it sucked big time. So where the heck do you go when houses are out of bounds?????


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 1:55am
Not enough ;-(

We live in different cites so it isn't like we can meet for lunch . We can only meet if he goes somewhere on business . It's been 4 months I have seen him 4 times , but he never seems to let me know when the next time will be .

First two months he used to call almost everyday , also small cute emails ....then since the holidays came around he stopped calling and emailing .Thought maybe the holidays made him want to be a better H , or maybe his W decided to be a better W .

I email him , is everything ok ?? he emails me back to say he is sorry he hasn't called and that he will .............but he doesn't . Then he calls when he is ready to meet .

I am kinda getting fed up with this . It doesn't feel good to feel like a booty call and I emailed him about what I expect from this A . not just sex also a friend and if he can't be that to me maybe best we should end this . So of course then he emails me a nice short letter like showing me , ok I am thinking of you and you are also a friend .....but then of course again days go by and I haven't heard from him .

Ok I understand over the weekend no contact , but today on Monday is it hard to call for 5 minutes or send a small email. I will wait and see when he contacts me again , but the more days that go by, the more I get pissed . Some A this is ;-(

xoxo ViperDiva

Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 2:08am
I understand completely. I had major contact in th beginning.. september,but as time went on i know that i got more needy and annoyed that he wasn't getting his butt here. Now its just 3 1/2 weeks until we see eachother again. Its like we've been married and divorced. The harsh words that have been said, the beautiful words that i don't believe (almost) that have been shared. It all seems too much. And I know i should just let the time pass, it will come soon enough, but I am sometimes getting so frustrated that I think it won't be worth it.. He knows already there will be no sex.. all of you say so many different things, but i do think that its best to hold off for a little while..

but is it so damn hard to call for 5 min, i dunno. I certainly dont think so, but it must be a woman thing, cause he will go for days without any contact and not seem to NEED it like i do. thats just men..

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 2:23am
My A is nine months old. We work opposite schedules (he days me 2nd shift).... we see each other usually every day. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night. Sex? about 3 times a week. Every day in between visits we call whenever we want, email whenever and chat at least once a day, and email back and forth when i am at work and he is home in the evening. Honestly never more than a few hours go by without us talking unless one of us has "plans" the other knows about. Every Saturday we have a date night from five til whenever ;) i guess one of the + things about MM's W knowing is we don't sneak around all that much.

i am one of the lucky ones, we live literally 2 minutes away and we also work 2 minutes away from each other. In an emergency, he's the one i call. if one of us needs something the other can be there in 2 minutes.

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 2:33am
Jen you are so lucky ! ;-)

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 2:55am
Yes I guess your right mikkolover , guys just don't have that need . But I have expressed to him over and over how hearing his voice for even 5 minutes really makes my day . So Why can't he do that for me . ?? *sigh*

We also had harsh words exchanged , he said he didn't like the tone of my voice when I was upset with him about making me feel like he is doing me a favor he even tries to meet me . Well he called , saying how tired he is , still has another meeting to go to , had a long day , has to get up early . blah blah blah ........so what do you want ? I take a night off from work so we can meet now you make it sound like a chore so I was mad .....

He was suppose to call after his meetings , he didn't. then called next day to meet , although I went I was a bit mad at him but of course as soon as he kissed me , all that went away and he had great sex and a nice evening .

I don't want to have to fight with him . He probably gets enough of that from his W . I don't want to have to nag him , why didn't you call or email me .

But why would he know in the beginning to call all the time , and now he doesn't .

And when he does call does he think saying sorry I haven't called makes things better ??

Next time he calls and asks me if I miss him , I'll say - well it is hard to miss someone who doesn't call and you don't really get to see LOL LOL

Yes this is very frustrating , at least I now see I am not the only one .

Hope you have a great time in 3 and a half weeks ;-)

xoxo ViperDiva

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