How To Say Goodbye If At All

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
How To Say Goodbye If At All
18
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 10:24pm

I know what I want to do. I want to just never return any of his calls or emails. He left me one asking to see me when he returns from his tropical paradise with his family. I could email him a goodbye..or just never respond and leave him to wonder?

What do you think? I'm going for the no response thing. I think silence speaks volumes.

Just wanted some thoughts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 8:03am
I know it's hard to feel rejected.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 10:20pm

You know what has been bugging me..it's the feeling of not being wanted enough or the same. I kept thinking of what he bought his W for Christmas. He got me nothing. But we've never exchanged gifts. He doesn't even know my B-day. It's never been that close of a thing. I was thinking why do I want to keep giving myself to a man who is just not present in my life.

I still feel rejected. Even though I am the one ignoring him now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 10:56pm

>>>"You know what has been bugging me..it's the feeling of not being wanted enough or the same. I kept thinking of what he bought his W for Christmas. He got me nothing."<<<

Maybe it's time for you to realized you're nothing but a "booty call". You just thought otherwise. I mean sheesh, even just being a mistress gets expensive gifts....



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 11:47pm

The rejection factor s*cks.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 5:48am
I was never a "booty call" since we never had sex. We did other things..but we never got that far. So, there was some emotion involved. But I kept my distance with him too out of fear of my growing feelings for him and his situation. We held hands..he'd hold me..kiss me..hug me..things like that..and sure..we'd talk of finally doing it..but both of us were afraid. He'd show concern for me..but not as much as I'd like. We never had the time to go there. So, I don't consider myself a booty call...maybe if I'd have slept with him like I was getting closer to doing..I could say that. I did my share of keeping him at a distance too...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 5:54am

Clarity..

Thanks for those words of encouragement. I won't let this get me too down. I think I have to figure why I pick the men I do. Because all the ones I've ever cared for have left my life in some fashion. But I have to remember they were never there for me in the first place. Only two..my boyfriend who died and my ex-husband. With my ex it was me leaving due to his addiction..but I look at it like he still left me long before I finally ended it.

I set myself up for this. I did. I take full responsibility right now. I knew he was married. I should have told him NO right off the bat. But he used his slow dance moves on me to get what he wanted. I'm sure he's doing it with somone else right now. It's all about HIM.

With that in mind it will be easier to just let him go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2008
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 5:34pm

Logan - how are you doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 11:32pm

Hi Gal..

We do sound like we have similar situations. I'm also on day 5 NC. How funny! We had two week breaks..that is why my XAP is on vacation right now. I would go back and forth about not working with him anymore. I'm glad. Yet, a part of me wishes I could just to see him. But I know seeing him would not help me to get over this.

What I'm nervous about now is this. I left him hanging. He was the last person to make contact by leaving me a voicemail telling me he wants to see me when he gets back. I won't reply. But I'm worried if he'll try to find me or not. Given I never answered his VM I don't know..then I'm certain I'll get even more sad if he doesn't try to find me. Oh..still on the rollercoaster of emotions.

I'm just sad right now. I just feel very alone.

Thanks for asking...

Logan

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