how to take the next step?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
how to take the next step?
26
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 2:38pm

Hi ladies,


I wanted your opinion. I am a MW. There is a single man who has expressed his undying love for me. We have become the best of friends over 2yrs. I know he loves me but he respects me.


It has been bothering me for a long while because I believe I have fallen in love with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 5:58pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 6:04pm

Hi Woody,


I am assuming you are male.


Thankyou for your responses.


Thing is I am a coward. I know for a fact that this other man loves me but taking into consideration that he respects my marriage, what exactly do you think I should say.


Let me tell you, even asking you such a direct question is hard for me, even though I am anonymous.


So I really want to hear what you think would be appropriate. This OM has spoken to me already about his sex life and I have briefly mentioned mine after a lot of coaxing. SO he does do 'wrong' things and for him to tell me how he feels even though he knows I am married and knows my family shows that he is not as 'good' as he sometimes say.


WHen he looks at me (I don't see him very often, once every 2 wks, but we speak almost daily) I can see the lust in his eyes, but I have been such a sheltered person all my life. My husband is the only man I have ever been with and I am almost 40yrs old.


So I just don't know how to bring up the topic and then what to say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 6:38pm
Shed the shyness......... where can you meet? is that possible...... look at him and say simply "I am so attracted to you and I sense that you are attracted to me..........." "be honest............."
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 7:06pm
you deleted your post....too bad

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 7:40am
it's nice to see a different approach on affair issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 10:43am

7 extra years of misery.... ummm not for me!! lol I was in a very unhappy and abusive marriage. The day I left was one of the happiest days of my life...

I guess I want to be a big believer in a happy, romantic marriage. I went through the bad marriage situation and I don't want to settle for that anymore...

And if I was lucky enough to have a good marriage I would do everything I could to make it the best... JMO... not judging anyone of course since I am involved in an A, too, and I had several A's during my horrible M - I kept looking to satisfy the emotional needs that were being completely ignored by my ex-H. I wish I was happily married. Maybe I am idealizing it too much, lol!!

trixie ;-)

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 11:44am

Hi all,


Wow, I am just checking in. There are so many deleted posts. What happenned? Was I receiving a lashing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 12:24pm
Not at all - none of the removed posts had anything to do with you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 1:41pm

Do you really want to take the next step? Your post does sound so and i get a feeling of it being already very emotionally charged! I would strongly advice to not jump into PA. Confess feelings first then take it slowly to PA ,if you cant resist.

As to what to say 'exactly', speak your mind truely. Keep it short at first then go with the flow.If he already knows how you feel then he must be waiting to hear !! There is not a single human being who doesnt want to know that they are loved.

So go and just do it! whats the point in suffocating yourself ?

Make that call or write that email, just do it and come back to post how it went!

(( hugs ))

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 1:57pm

Hi! :) Posts are removed when they violate our Terms of Service or otherwise disrupt the board. If you have questions about deleted posts, please email relationshipscm@mail.ivillage.com rather than posting to the board.


Thank you!

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