how to take the next step?
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how to take the next step?
| Mon, 02-09-2009 - 2:38pm |
Hi ladies,
I wanted your opinion. I am a MW. There is a single man who has expressed his undying love for me. We have become the best of friends over 2yrs. I know he loves me but he respects me.
It has been bothering me for a long while because I believe I have fallen in love with him.

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I must advice you to proceed with caution on this. Even though this is an A support board we don't encourage people to just go "willie-nellie" (like some "no-brain(ers) here are doing)" into having an affair. No matter how an A ends someone has to pay the piper (wether it's H, W, Kids, Parents, etc.) at the end.
Sure we have cake-eaters here who are romanticizing this whole thing without giving it a responsible thought to how an A can cause a lot of people undue pain and tell you to go for it. But, let me say this to the AP's on this board. Most likely when push comes to shove in an event of a DDay, when it comes to choosing between you and the H/W and kids on who gets hurt, you'll be the one under that bus and your AP will be driving while the Spouse is navigating.
So, to the original poster, I would suggest (even though) from your posts I can already tell you're "gung-hu" and probably already has gone for it. Give it a good thought. If he is a SG and you a MW, be sure you're willing to risk only what you can afford to lose.
Good luck to you.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
Hi Goddess,
No, I have not told him how I felt, and even though I may appear 'gung hu' on doing so, I have not.
I am afraid to. This EA so to speak has been going on for about 15 months and I speak to him daily (weekdays).
He has confessed that he loves me many times on the phone but I have never given the impression that I want more than a friendship.
Well I guess I can disagree with you. This is a "support" board which should support someone's choice and if someone chooses the next step - and if someone directs them as they were essentially asked to - is that "willie nillie" it would be like a needle exchange or condom program trying to provide its core service while talking about the perils of drug abuse and advocating abstinence.
I think it would be nice if adults can come to a support forum and not be warned of all the peril that comes with their choices. I don't really like the term "cake eater" not sure where it got coined -
Let me say this I have yet to throw anyone under the bus - nor do I really know of many instances where that has happened - I speak from an empirical standpoint.
I know and understand the perils - is there a mission here to provide support without bias to answer a simple question - "how do I take the next step"?
If someone provides that answer is a wreckless? not caring? unintelligent? or is he merely a laughable person whose views have no merit? I think not
I'm with Trixie on this one.
It's obvious you and I will NEVER have the same POV on things. If you don't know where to find the ones that got thrown under the bus, then you've got blinders on. You can visit and lurk at EAS also if you really want to know.
I will now disengaged from this discussion as I've already gave my point POV on this thread and I don't like wasting my time, therefore, I will respectfully "agree to disagree"!
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
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