how to take the next step?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
how to take the next step?
26
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 2:38pm

Hi ladies,


I wanted your opinion. I am a MW. There is a single man who has expressed his undying love for me. We have become the best of friends over 2yrs. I know he loves me but he respects me.


It has been bothering me for a long while because I believe I have fallen in love with him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 5:02pm

I must advice you to proceed with caution on this. Even though this is an A support board we don't encourage people to just go "willie-nellie" (like some "no-brain(ers) here are doing)" into having an affair. No matter how an A ends someone has to pay the piper (wether it's H, W, Kids, Parents, etc.) at the end.

Sure we have cake-eaters here who are romanticizing this whole thing without giving it a responsible thought to how an A can cause a lot of people undue pain and tell you to go for it. But, let me say this to the AP's on this board. Most likely when push comes to shove in an event of a DDay, when it comes to choosing between you and the H/W and kids on who gets hurt, you'll be the one under that bus and your AP will be driving while the Spouse is navigating.

So, to the original poster, I would suggest (even though) from your posts I can already tell you're "gung-hu" and probably already has gone for it. Give it a good thought. If he is a SG and you a MW, be sure you're willing to risk only what you can afford to lose.

Good luck to you.



Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 5:26pm

Hi Goddess,


No, I have not told him how I felt, and even though I may appear 'gung hu' on doing so, I have not.


I am afraid to. This EA so to speak has been going on for about 15 months and I speak to him daily (weekdays).


He has confessed that he loves me many times on the phone but I have never given the impression that I want more than a friendship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Thu, 02-12-2009 - 8:03am

Well I guess I can disagree with you. This is a "support" board which should support someone's choice and if someone chooses the next step - and if someone directs them as they were essentially asked to - is that "willie nillie" it would be like a needle exchange or condom program trying to provide its core service while talking about the perils of drug abuse and advocating abstinence.

I think it would be nice if adults can come to a support forum and not be warned of all the peril that comes with their choices. I don't really like the term "cake eater" not sure where it got coined -

Let me say this I have yet to throw anyone under the bus - nor do I really know of many instances where that has happened - I speak from an empirical standpoint.

I know and understand the perils - is there a mission here to provide support without bias to answer a simple question - "how do I take the next step"?

If someone provides that answer is a wreckless? not caring? unintelligent? or is he merely a laughable person whose views have no merit? I think not

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Thu, 02-12-2009 - 8:05am
Go with your heart............... I can talk about the positives all day long - the racing of my heart, the butterflies in my stomach.......... the passion........ the danger.......... the excitement and the love.......... I think you will make the correct decision for you
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 02-12-2009 - 11:34am

I'm with Trixie on this one.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 02-12-2009 - 1:01pm

It's obvious you and I will NEVER have the same POV on things. If you don't know where to find the ones that got thrown under the bus, then you've got blinders on. You can visit and lurk at EAS also if you really want to know.

I will now disengaged from this discussion as I've already gave my point POV on this thread and I don't like wasting my time, therefore, I will respectfully "agree to disagree"!



Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com

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