How would you handle this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
How would you handle this??
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 1:51pm
SO loves me. I know this. I know it like I know the sun will come up tomorrow. I know he loves his g/f, although it's a little different. Still, it is love. That had to be said, but the hot issue here is that he loves me and I know it and really am confident in that.

Still, sometimes I can't help but wonder just what he's thinking about us and the future. For the record, I refuse to ask that question of him. I left my H and my M for myself, not for SO. Although, of course, his presence in my life made it easier. Anyway, since SO never asked me to make a choice and was prepared for me to stay married forever, I won't ask him to make a choice. Which means, I must agree to this situation as it is or get out. I don't want out. I love him. I will take whatever he is able to give me, which is quite a lot, because I feel truly blessed to have him in my life.

Yet, SO, for all that he loves me, seems unwilling to make time sometimes when I think it would be easy for him to. He's got his schedule of the days and little is allowed to disrupt that timeline. I know this about him - he's a bit compulsive and anal about schedules!!! When it doesn't affect me, lol, I think it's kinda cute. Like today....the crisis at work would have made him about 45 min or an hour later than normal. So it would have cut our time short. He likes to leave by a certain time because he lives two hours away and wants time to himself and to get things done before g/f gets home. I understand that. But I"m of the mindset that an hour together, while not nearly as great as two, is still worth making happen. But not him. Nope. More than a half an hour and it's called off.

I really don't think he's trying to get out of anything. He's invested way too much in me, both in emotional energy as well as financially. He's an extremely private man and I've gotten him to show his feelings and emotions beyond his comfort zone more than once. He gave me the car I drive. He helps with rent, food, and gasoline. He buys my kids presents for me to give them. He's furnished my apartment for me. I know he's not going anywhere and I know I'm more than a piece of ass to him.

But then I wonder if I mean so much to him, why not come over, even if it's for less than an hour??? Why not do whatever he can to make our time together happen? There's nothing that would set off alarms with his g/f...she doesn't get home from work until 5 and he'd have been home for hours by then.

Men. Can't live with them. Can't shoot them.

Lucky