How young is TOO Young??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
How young is TOO Young??
24
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:21am
Recently there has been a new guy at work. At first we just did our jobs and what not then it sort of developed into something more. We flirt all the time and hang out after work and had sort of a mini date the other night...we went out for milkshakes and then drove around talking about children and careers and all kinds of things. It was so nice!

There are a few problems here though... I am going to be 21 in a week and he is still only 17.... 18 in June. Is he way too young??? Also, we are both in relationships... mine is of 4 years and I have been questioning it for a while now and he of 9 months.

When I lay all the facts down it just looks so wrong but when I am with him none of that seems to matter.

He is so complimenting, fun and everything my boyfriend is not. A co-worker actually asked me how my "boy friend" was. I said hes just my friend and he said no way looks like more then friends to me! This makes me think the attraction between us is so obvious!

I cannot get him out of my mind and all the signs that he is into me are there and its known that we like each other i think.

WHAT DO I DO???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 7:30am
Sure sweetie. I was eighteen once and I also was like you, just knew what I did or wanted is right. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 11:46am
How condescending can you be? Did you ever think that maybe if you followed your heart a little more maybe you wouldn't be so bitter?

IS and I have discussed all of these scenarios and we both know that age is an obstacle for us to overcome. But as I stated earlier, she and I are going to work on our relationship and work on growing together rather than apart. She has dated other people and I'm certainly not her owner. I have told her that if she (or I for that matter), were to somehow meet someone better for us, then that is where fate will take us. But I'm not going to "let her go" just for the sake of finding out if she comes back. IS is free to go whenever and wherever she wants. We are together because we choose to be.

As far as the movie Serendipity goes, if you recall, they both almost made huge mistakes because they separated. My impression was they should have grabbed the moment when they met and worked to stay together. Might have saved themselves and others a lot of heartache.

Ultimately, IS and I both know that the one thing we would regret above all else is walking away. We have a real chance to build something solid and lifelong and that is what we intend to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 12:15pm
omahamm, I did say my post was with disclaimer, so why worry about it??? As far getting "condescending" with your IS, it was she who said and I quote "you clearly don't know what love is about.". This is a support board you will get different answers to your questions. Not all need be sugar coated and affirming, right? Yea, I am lurker, but I just had a valid point to say. If you find me annoying, I won't post to you or IS anymore. Good Luck with your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 12:20pm
This girl is 18?! OMG. And how old are you? You found your soulmate with an 18 yr old girl….a SOULMATE? LOL I’m sorry, but this girl is a GIRL. Think back to what you knew about life when you were 18!!!! She’s a child, of course she thinks this is IT, the love of her life. I feel sorry for her, as you seem to have some major narcissistic issues that are allowing you to convince yourself it is ok to drag some GIRL down into your messy life. That’s it…leaving your wife and kids (AND a pregnant wife) for an 18 year old soulmate. Wow, what a catch you are for a young girl with her ENTIRE life ahead of her (ONLY an 18 yr old would be dreamy enough to believe that!!) Grow up man. Ah, life. Do you even SEE how ridiculous you two appear?!! Amazing!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 1:25pm
I don't think he's too young at all, I was 25 when I had sex with an 18yo (in Mexico 18 is legal mayority) but in your case and just to be protected I'd wait until he's "legal field".
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 4:38pm
what the hell is everyone's problem? i thought this was a place for support??? so what's better here... me being 18 and in love with someone who was leaving his wife anyway... or someone who is married and cheating on their spouse with another person, and thinks that's okay?

obviously AGE is too big of an issue to you all... god damn, "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" ... underminding my intelligence and telling me that i'm stupid because i'm 18... actually considering my IQ and all the horrible things i've endured throughout my life, i think i know more than anyone i know.

not that i expect ANYONE to understand this, all i was looking for was support, not an attack

IS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 4:45pm
I agree IS. You and omaha are so perfect for each other. I can see you two living the rest of the life in happiness that you found each other. I don't know why these lurkers can't understand the way you feel. Don't worry about them. All that matters is omaha loves you and you love him. Take it from me, that's all you need. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 5:31pm
Juliet you are right! I have never seen a couple so perfectly suited for each other. They seem to compliment each other in so many ways. I enjoy their youth and dynamism and I hope they have a wonderful life together. IS and omaha, do worry about the naysayers and the doubters, you both will be fine - I have a gut feeling about you both. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:02pm
THIS DISCUSSION WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MY PROBLEM!!!!!

CREATE YOUR OWN POST IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT YOURSELF!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:16pm
If you go back and read through the entire thread, you will see that IS did try to offer you some support and an opinion and then she was attacked. She was responding to that attack and that is the post you responded to. If you want to take offense to something, take offense to the people who attacked someone who was trying to offer you some advice.