Hubby playing mind games with me
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Hubby playing mind games with me
| Sun, 03-07-2004 - 11:15pm |
I believe my H knows I'm involved with somebody. He's been acting very suspicious lately questioning my every move (where are you going, when are you coming back, why were you gone so long, etc). This morning he said he's been having some "awfully bad dreams" about me, and hopes that he's wrong. He's a very jealous person to begin with and hot headed. I have great difficulty having sex with him, as emotionally I am 'gone' when it comes to being with him. I try to keep up a front as though nothing is wrong as I cannot leave right now due to family issues (two kids in college, a sister who is sick with cancer and living with me, and currently in between jobs). My H has a drinking problem and although is not physically abusive, he is emotionally abusive. He's an early bird kind of person (I'm a night owl), and he waits till the early morning hours to start talking to me (in bed) about how I never want sex with him, how he thinks I'm fooling around on him, etc. I am ashamed to admit it but given his state of mind sometimes, I am truly afraid of him. I've realized that all the years of conditioning have screwed me up mentally, but I don't know if I should give up my MM (who is the light of my life), if nothing else but to let things cool down for awhile. Maybe it would help to give me clarity on getting my life in order. Just had to get this off my chest, I'm not having a good day today and maybe just need a little support. Thanks.

(hugs) maybe you should think of leaving, or avoiding him at least if he's drinking. i understand, don't want to think you are alone.
jen
Hot
Now that being said, he's sometimes accused me of having a "b/f" or seeing someone else. Usually he's accusing me of that as I'm leaving the house for a class at night or something. And of course, he's been drinking.
I just say "ya right". Because he has no idea, the times I do see MM are during workdays in the afternoons, its never in the evenings or weekends.
I feel perfectly justified in what I am doing right now, and refuse to get into these stupid head games with him.
Now when he says anything to me about seeing other guys, or calling him other guys names (which I never have) I just tell him "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this".
I refuse to get dragged into these types of conversations with him anymore. Its pointless, he has no basis to go on really, and he's just trying to start an argument. And conveniently forgetting how he is contributing on a daily basis, to the damage that's being done to our M.
Dont let him get the best of you!! And keep on denying. And just be extremely cautious when you meet MM and however you two communicate.
Take care,
Dusty