Hubby Vs. MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Hubby Vs. MM
14
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 3:33pm
I have a fairly non-existent sex life with my H....he's more like a brother or a room-mate (in my eyes). MM is sexy, attentive, sensitive, giving, caring, support, etc. Everything that H is not. Do most of you find you are seeking what you are missing in your married life or is it just fun, games and sex? If my H could get back the qualities I married him for (and that MM has) I probably wouldn't be in this A. What about you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: crazychiclet
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 9:54am
My A started when i started having trouble in my marriage. But also the sex was(and is) the same everytime. Same position always, and before i can get even close to being into it he's done. I still love him, but just like most of you said not the way i used to. Right now i only get to see my MM about once a week, but when we do, WOW. For the time being i can't see not having him in my life, and i once told him that i read about ladies who have had an affair for years, and he told me that's what he expects, b/c for right now nothing is wrong in his marriage. So i guess for now i'm gonna have to expect a long A!!! But who can say what tomorrow will bring!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
In reply to: crazychiclet
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 10:13am
You crack me up! I guess I wish MY H was impotent too so I could have something to blame for the lack of sex! :)

My MM has turned into my best friend & best lover. I can't imagine that my sex drive for him would diminish but over time I guess strange things happen. Have you ever heard the saying "Somewhere, there is a ALWAYS a woman tired of HIS #W($*@. I guess everyone has issues and most of us are in that phase where "everything's wonderful". I'm wondering if there is anyone out that who finally got together with their MM full-time and then got tired of him too? It makes me wonder if eventually I'll get tired of everyone....even the most wonderful of men? I know! Lot of wondering for so early in the day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
In reply to: crazychiclet
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 10:28am
Funny that you mention that because I often find myself wondering if I will get bored with MM. The sex is great right now but it was also great with my H at first. According to my sister, MM and I are just using each other to get out of our bad R's and then we'll get bored with each other and go along our ways...single. It kind of makes sense to me. My sister has been in an A with a MM for almost 2 years now (he's twice her age!) and my other sister just got out of a 4 year R with a MM (who was always promising he'd leave his W when in reality he'd just gotten her pregnant for the 4th time and my sister didn't find out until the baby was 3 months old!) Even my mom met my dad when he was M.....am I seeing a pattern here?! I think it runs in the family! I hope it skipped my DD's generation!!! Is there anyone on the board here that has been with the same man for like 20 years and the sex is still wonderful? Is that possible?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: crazychiclet
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 1:23pm
I think that is possible to have great sex for 20 years or more, although I can't say by experience. But as to your question about will you eventually get bored with MM? I can only speak for myself. But with my H, sex was never great right from the beginning, he wasn't really interested, I guess I thought I could change that (stupid me!!)

But with MM, even though we see each other a few times a month for sex, it is still very exciting and seems new/fresh each time. We enjoy pleasing each other.

I don't think this would change, even if we lived together I think it would still be very exciting. Because of the chemistry between us. I never had this chemistry with H even to begin with.

The thing is, if I could have sex with H even the same amount of time each month as I do with MM, I think it would not be that exciting.

But to still be excited after a few years with the MM, I think says something about if you are physically attracted/have that just right chemistry between you, I think things could be very spicy for a very long time!! Sigh, wish I could have that!!

Dusty
xxxx

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