Hurt by my best friend and my WIFE

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Hurt by my best friend and my WIFE
2
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 11:57am

I met him 6 years ago, he was a heroin addict and I got him through rehab and relocated him to the place where I live. Looked after him and nutured him in our business and made him my right hand man. Took him on family outings and done everything I could for him. I considered him my best friend and helped him achieve many great things in as little as 5 years where he was constantly by my side. This was not enough, he got close to my wife whom I love with all my heart and had an affair with her regardless of what I done for him. She eventually broke it off after a year and then she told me all that happened. I have forgiven both of them and his gone but my wife and I are reconciled although I am left to pick up the pieces and I cannot handle the betrayal. No matter how I try I cannot get over the fact that they actually done this to me and even though I confronted them both once when I became suspicious they done a pretty good job of convincing me that I was making these things up. After this the relationship still carried on for about 6 months. She has promised never to do this again and wants to re affirm her wedding vows to me but I don't know if I could handle this ever again if she had to do it again in future. Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 12:10pm

Hi jonjon, welcome to Ivillage and MAS. I should tell you that this is a board for folks that are currently having affairs of their own. Ivillage has several boards that would be more applicable to your situation. One is Life After Betrayal and the other is Betrayed Spouses support. There are wonderful folks on both boards and I know they will help you. Here are the links:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhealingaft
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rladultery

Good luck to you. I am very sorry for the pain you are in today. Hopefully your tomorrows will be a brighter.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 1:03pm

Jonjon,

i am sorry for your pain. i don't know what kind of help you need. but i will suggest that there are other message boards that may be better able to help you with questions about betrayal and rebuilding.

Life After Betrayal (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhealingaft/start) is probably the best place to start. posters there are on both sides (betrayer, betrayed) and trying to move on.

i hope that helps with your hurt,
Mrs.