hurting - need some advice and support

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
hurting - need some advice and support
14
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 9:01am

i feel like my heart is breaking!


quick recap...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2007
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 9:22am

I am not saying this to be mean but I don't think you ever had him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 10:27am

Hi Nahs,


When people are stressed they tend to act differently. Some want someone to vent to and others just want to be left alone. Give him his space, fall back and wait until he contacts you. You don't want him to feel like your smothering him. Until then as much as you love and want to support him keep busy and do things that you enjoy doing so to occupy your time and mind. I know easier said then done but right now is all you can do.


Wishing you all the best!

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 11:26am
alesan - thank you for being blunt but this is how he has always been.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 11:35am

He will be back, they always come back... It is very rare when they don't. He is just private and doesn't want to seem vulnerable. You caught him in a bad, sad mood. Definately leave him alone for now, last thing you want to do is be clingy. That backfired on me once big time. My MM was stressed with work, unhappy marriage and feelings for me and he forced NC for 3 months but then came back. But when he was explaining to me that he needed time I would not let it go...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 12:02pm
thank you so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 1:09pm

nahs77, I am sorry you are going through this but I agree in part with 'alesan'.When we are in a tough place,we do need to lean on a loved one and if he/she is not there for us,the entire thing seems shallow.OTOH,everyone is different.Some need support while some shut down.
Dont take it personally.You have done your support and now leave it to him.He will come in his own time.

(( hugs ))

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 6:40pm
ITA with this. When I am stressed I shut everyone out and live in my own little world where I can deal with things. AP does suffer as I am not as talkative, but H suffers as well because I normally don't even talk to him or if I do it is minimal. When I am super stressed/upset I simply shut down - the more I shut down the better I can deal. By not allowing myself to feel I can handle the stress better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:08am

reading your post made me feel a lot better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:13am
Sorry he is going through this, and sorry that you have to deal with it also. I think he'll come around after spending some time in his "man cave". Just give him the time he wants sweetie. Right now, even though you're trying to be supportive, he just can't deal with thinking about you and "obligations" he might feel towards you. Hang in there!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 1:25pm
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