I am being blackmailed, help!!!!
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I am being blackmailed, help!!!!
| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 2:53am |
Hello everyone, oh my goodness i am about to lose my mind, let me calm down so i can tell yall what's going on. There was this guy who works around my MM. He knew about the A because he was friends with MM and still is. We were just chatting and he said he heard some stories about MM and he basically said that MM has been having an ongoing thing for two months but he said he really couldnt call it cheating on me but it's around that topic, MM doesnt know me and this guy chat, he was like someone i could go to and talk to him about mm and it wouldnt bother him and guess what now he is blackmailing me. He said that he will tell me the stories he has heard from valid resources if i do sexual things with him and if i dont then he's going to tell MM the whole truth about us just chatting as friends and all that he knows about our relationship. I cant do those things he asked me to do even though i want to know the information. He's giving me a day to decide if it's worth doing it or losing MM forever. The reason he is doing this to me is b/c he liked me alot and i didnt know it and he said all i talked about was MM and it hurt him b/c i didnt feel that way for him now i either have to tell MM everything and do it today or he's going to tell him and add things that arent true. What do i do, i am so scared, i just found out from MM 3 weeks ago that he loves me and now i am having to deal with this. Please help me b/c i am really scared of losing MM. I know i need to be honest with MM but i am going to lose him and what if these stories arent true just lies and then i lose MM anyways. I need everyone to read this and let me know what i need to do. I am freaking out right now, i cant even breathe hardly. HELP!!!!

I am almost sure their friendship will be damaged and yes you may lose some C for a while but I think if he does love you he will be back.
Good luck!!!!
Men are creatures of ego. Grab the MM by the ego and do not let go.
Go to the MM and tell him first that you really needed to be able to talk about him to someone who knew him, someone who could relate. Tell him how much you need to share your enthusiasm for him and that since this mutual friend was available to talk to you thought it would be harmless, someone to hear you go on and on about how much you adore him.
Then get your MM to protect you. Tell him how this other man has been filling your head with thoughts that the MM is having yet another A with someone else. Assure him that because you adore him it was upsetting to think that might be the case and so you asked questions... put him in your shoes. If he heard from a friend that you were fooling around with someone else, wouldn't he ask questions? Believe me, almost all men *hate* the idea of sharing worse than anything else; we are, as I said, creatures of ego. From there I expect you will get some sympathy from him, or at least deflect any blame.
It was at this point that the new fellow asked you to do things... and much as you hate it, be graphic. Men do NOT want to hear about the possibility of their women doing things with other men, especially a man we know. Tell him the truth, that you are afraid this guy would lie and that you'd lose him.
You might lose him anyway. You just don't know. But you should really paint this other friend to be pure evil and after your MM's "property." I know, it's neanderthal and primal, but we men are not so evolved in that area.
For the record, I have no friends so close to me that if this happened with my OW that I wouldn't summarily dismiss them from my life.
Be prepared for some NC... if this other guy really is evil he'll go the next step and threaten MM with telling his W. MM will (in all likelihood) go into "hiding" for a while, probably avoiding you just in case.
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, at least not anything I'd be upset at my OW for. I guess I wouldn't be completely thrilled about not knowing she was talking about me to a friend without telling me, but in all honesty I'd take my friend to the woodshed for this and forget my OW's indiscretion...
Good luck
Rain
~Flirty~