I am broken hearted ,help
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|Sat, 04-07-2012 - 9:15am|
I stumbled upon the board while doing search on google for help on affairs. I cant believe that this is the only board I found that offers support in this type of relationship.
I will keep it very short as I am not sure if it is a safe place to spill my beans .
I am a married woman in an affair with a divorced single guy.He is a very close friend of my husband. We met when he was married . We all used to go out together with our kids and all . It goes back to about 20 years. About 10 years we moved cities and my husband and him stayed in contact. His wife and I were never very good friends but got along . 2 years ago my husband told me that his friend, lets name him F , has gotten divorced , got a new job and has moved to our city.It was a news to me like any other news.I mean, it wasnt a big deal. I didnt have a thing for him or looked at him in that THAT way untill he ripped my clothes off with his eyes a year ago !
My husband and I get along quite well. We have our problems but nothing too bad , everyday small issues.Now, F pursed me relentlessly , sometimes in my home w/o my husband around , till I gave in to my desire awakened by F. No sex but this close . I want to , F is ready but the timing never seems to be right.Its building up and F says he wants it bad.
I am old enough to realize that his desire might go away once he has me so I AM trying to control ,lol. F has gotten bold enought to call me sometime at night when my husband is home. F says this turns him on like crazy and masturbates himself to sleep when he does this.Sorry for TMI guys but this is getting very confusing to me. I told him last time he called at 1200 that he shouldnt do this.F said that he was wanting me bad and couldnt get any sleep , lost control and had to do it.
Up untill 2 days ago , all was fine between us.He then threw a bomb on me which has brought me here. F said that he wants me to divorce my husband . He says that he will talk to me only if I get a divorce.I asked him if he wants to marry me? He says he waants to see where we can go in terms of relationship when both of us are single. I asked him , will he be there for me , support me emotionally ( financially I dont have any problem as I have a good paying job , kids out of home ) in this divorce.To my surprise he said 'no'. He wants me to sort out all the divorce proceedings and the mess that comes with it and then come back to him and try to date .
Now, since the affair began, I have started to see flaws in my husband which I was ignoring before.We have many fights as I bring up issues which were being ignored earlier. I do want to divorce sometimes but not for F but for myself. F , otoh, does sleep around .He hasnt told me but I know. He doesnt date. I cant ask him not to because he is single. We have a age gap of 12 years , F being the older one. He is in a hurry . He is 55 and does pride a lot on his looks and ' abilities ' .
I figure, if he cant be there for me at my worst ( divorce , if at all ) then how can he expect me to be there at my best ( divorced, financially independent , emotionally sorted out , in great shape ,body and mind )