Are we sure she REALLY is his BB? Being a former W cheated on by her H, I found out he told the OW (yes, more than one over the years) several lies about our relationship status. Everything from we were married for years, when in fact it had been 2 months; we were separated when in fact that was far from it; that we had an open relationship; and many more lies. Whatever was convenient.
So, while MM says he has an open relationship, who knows. Still doesn't make it "right" or "wrong" to contact the W. Depending on the nature of their A relationship and emotional involvement, broken promises, etc...I would have to agree with someone else who said, after 4 years he's lucky to have gotten away with it this long. If its a R that is a convenience/just sex, then it might be another thing. Seems to be so much harder when there is an emotional component and promises of a future together with little/no action in that direction.
What makes you think us OW WANT a future with your so called husband? Maybe, just maybe, we are getting exactly what we want from them and they are getting exactly what they need from us.
I am not the one who has to swallow my pride and stay for comfort or because I am afraid to be on my own. I am on my own and I love it.
I never said you or anyone wanted a future with my xH (or your AP). That's why I added the part about the nature of their A relationship...being emotional or strictly sex. The emotional element often adds the pain, the waiting, the being put off or someone being the fence sitter/cake eater. Strictly sexual often doesn't include those elements. It's more or less an established agreement of no one is leaving or hoped to leave their M, its just fun or there so that someone can stay in their M/comfort zone.
If it works for you, that's fine. I'm not criticizing anyone, but that's how you seem to be taking it. I don't think staying for comfort is the answer for anyone, but that's just how it sometimes "works". Ultimately, if someone stays for that reason, they will be just that at best...comfortable; not happy. At least not happy with just that one person you are M to/supposed to be committed to. Hence the reason I left my M. I'd rather be alone and happy than M and comfortable at best.
Correct Torn you never did say that--I just get defensive about the continous posts on BSS that us OW want our Lover to leave the home and children/family to be with US.
Pages
M
A
S
is turning into the WILD WILD WEST!
Are we sure she REALLY is his BB? Being a former W cheated on by her H, I found out he told the OW (yes, more than one over the years) several lies about our relationship status. Everything from we were married for years, when in fact it had been 2 months; we were separated when in fact that was far from it; that we had an open relationship; and many more lies. Whatever was convenient.
So, while MM says he has an open relationship, who knows. Still doesn't make it "right" or "wrong" to contact the W. Depending on the nature of their A relationship and emotional involvement, broken promises, etc...I would have to agree with someone else who said, after 4 years he's lucky to have gotten away with it this long. If its a R that is a convenience/just sex, then it might be another thing. Seems to be so much harder when there is an emotional component and promises of a future together with little/no action in that direction.
What makes you think us OW WANT a future with your so called husband? Maybe, just maybe, we are getting exactly what we want from them and they are getting exactly what they need from us.
I am not the one who has to swallow my pride and stay for comfort or because I am afraid to be on my own. I am on my own and I love it.
I never said you or anyone wanted a future with my xH (or your AP). That's why I added the part about the nature of their A relationship...being emotional or strictly sex. The emotional element often adds the pain, the waiting, the being put off or someone being the fence sitter/cake eater. Strictly sexual often doesn't include those elements. It's more or less an established agreement of no one is leaving or hoped to leave their M, its just fun or there so that someone can stay in their M/comfort zone.
If it works for you, that's fine. I'm not criticizing anyone, but that's how you seem to be taking it. I don't think staying for comfort is the answer for anyone, but that's just how it sometimes "works". Ultimately, if someone stays for that reason, they will be just that at best...comfortable; not happy. At least not happy with just that one person you are M to/supposed to be committed to. Hence the reason I left my M. I'd rather be alone and happy than M and comfortable at best.
"One of my GFs said that she made that bed the first time she threw her keys in a bowl."
Correct Torn you never did say that--I just get defensive about the continous posts on BSS that us OW want our Lover to leave the home and children/family to be with US.
Pages