I am exhausted

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
I am exhausted
9
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 6:45pm

Hi everyone,


Just a quick update.


I foolishly tried to tell OM that we have to be just business from now on.


He got mad and said ok MRs.xxxx and hung up.


Within an hour he started to call my phones. I have 2 ,one personal and one fixed in my car.


My kids were with me and they saw his name come up in the car and I wasn't answering and they kept saying

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2007
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 8:07pm
You just need to worry about you.Know it's probably easier said than done, but only deal with him when it comes to work. Honestly, i would say that it is over. Please take care of yourself and your lupus.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 1:58am

Hi


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 3:19pm
Agree with Clarity on this one. He doesn't really have you in a net. You're letting him put you there. You keep caving. DON'T DO IT. Tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone and respect the business relationship, you will be forced to tell your husband what has gone on and have him dismissed for harrassment. I don't know where you live, but if you're in the U.S., the economy isn't so good. I'm sure he doesn't want to be without an income. Hit him in his wallet. Tell him that you don't know what got into you, but that you have NO interest in him other than as an employee. Not a friend, certainly not more, just an employee. If he cannot respect that then he has to go. Period. And mean it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 7:17pm

Hi clarity and all,


I know I am to be blamed for this mess I am in.


I also know I need therapy. I do not live in the US. Going to a therapist will be difficult and keeping from my husband even more so.


This OM has me so addicted, I can't seem to let go.


I spoke to him today, he asked how I was. I told him I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a doctor. He wanted to know what he said.


OM said I'm sure he told you to take it easier with the amount of driving you do. Then he went on to say, "Did he say that you should have more sex".


I was shocked. I told him, my friend would never say that to me. He said Friends can say anything to each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 9:12pm

If you are ready to end your affair, TC, then you can alot of hugs and support on the "Ending an Affair Support" Board from those who have ended their affair and/or at least in the process of doing


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 7:54pm

Hi,


Today has been so exhausting for me. My H and OM were having billing related problems.


I was caught in the middle as neither would speak to the other.


Anyway, I think this is my opportunity to get rid of him so I will try my best.


Had to meet him to give him something (Business).


He comes in the car, tells me to take it easy, takes my hand and squeezes, I pull away, he is angry and asks why am i pulling away then grabs the other. I pull that away as well. (We have never had physical contact, so it was very strange)


I tell him I'm upset with everything and he leaves.


ANyway, its been a nightmare.


I guess I will just have to hope my H will just finally get rid of him

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 12:06pm

The way this guy is turning things around, dont tell your H now.It would have worked if you had told your H earlier on.Your AP most probably will completely back off from taking any responsibility and put the entire thing on you.Thats the feel i am getting from reading your posts.

How old are you? What I am trying to figure out is how in the world can you be sooo naive in this age and time? maybe thats what is attractive about you to your AP.

He is stepping up his game fully realizing that you want to end it.He is not good news if you are wanting out!!

((( hugs )))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 1:36pm
If the OM and your H are having problems it increases the odds that if your H tries to separate from him he will tell H for spite. Now is the time to tell H before that happens. As far as telling H that you admitted love for the OM.... is that in writing or your word against OM? I think you need to be proactive with H.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 5:45pm

Hi,


Thanks for the response. You have every right to ask my age because I am acting like a school girl.