I am guilty.....
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I am guilty.....
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:48am |
I realize after reading so many of these posts that I am guilty of
being the "compartmentalizer" --- that I can go the few days between
phone calls and emails and I notice my "feelings" such as the I miss
you's and the You mean this much to me.... etc that is shared between
two people in such a relationship comes less out of my mouth and more
out of his ----
being the "compartmentalizer" --- that I can go the few days between
phone calls and emails and I notice my "feelings" such as the I miss
you's and the You mean this much to me.... etc that is shared between
two people in such a relationship comes less out of my mouth and more
out of his ----
Is it because I am holding back for fear of knowing what this person
is capable of giving me ???
Or do I hold back out of fear of other things....I mean its crazy what
I feel for him - he says things to me and I am like....good grief how
does he KNOW how I feel - yet I can't make those words come out of my
mouth
He has a way with me that is unexplainable but when he is there, with me
looking at me I know he see's what I am trying to say
I just need to stop being such the "guy" in this relationship and get a
little bit more girlie and emotional - yet I think he likes it this way LOL
But that's me --- the compartmentalizer
You all may think it's easy for your MM --- but believe me it's confusing too !!!
Kikki

V.
Let me give you an example - my MM will openly and willing say those loving words -"I love you"....I will either 1 - giggle - 2 - say you're so sweet - 3 - you do !?!? or some other oddity that I swear is just the lamest thing to say -
at times he will say to me --- well maybe I tell you I miss you and love you too much
this is when I finally get some brains and will say - NO don't stop telling me those things -
he will say - maybe you are tired of me saying them or maybe they are losing their
meaning
granted it took him a LONG time to even say those words - (over a year into our EMA)
for me it took even longer but he knew when I said it I meant it -
He knows I am a hard shell to crack and that he loves the challenge -
I love his neediness and it makes me feel appreciated and wanted - so it compliments us in a way
Hope this helps
Kikki
I remember when we were still early in our relationship, we were talking about our spouses. I said mine was definitely the "pull", and I was the "push" in the relationship. My H would be happiest if I sat next to him 24/7. I, on the other hand, need my independence.
I think he took that as a clue to not get too close to me too fast. The other night when we were together, I told him I think about him a lot. He seemed so happy that I said that. I thought it was obvious, but his reaction made me feel like I haven't expressed those feelings well enough to him.
He puts out a lot of "bait" for me that could turn our discussions more serious and relationship-oriented. I dont really expand on his bait like I should because I have this wall around me and in the moment with him, I don't have time to think of a response that would be appropriate.
But like you, Kikki, I want HIM to be the one initiating all the emotional talk. It's partially an ego thing, partially not wanting to be the overly emotional female in the relationship, partially keeping the thrill of the chase alive and strong.