I am a homewrecker.....help!
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| Thu, 02-05-2004 - 1:52pm |
Well, I am friends with MM's W and she constantly confides their bad R with me and also she told me something else. I made the stupid, stupid (I am beating myself up over this) mistake of telling MM what she told me last week. I know I shouldn't have but it drives me crazy to see her sitting there acting like she is so perfect and constantly beating him up over an A he had (very briefly) over 4 years ago.
The problem with him leaving her is that he will probably want to stay with me. I have joked with him about "if she kicks you out you can sleep on my couch" but I was never serious. He also informed me yesterday that he had feelings for me. Ouch. That was NOT supposed to happen. Now I find myself in a MAJOR predicament....
Here are my thoughts.......I just got out of a marriage 1 week ago and I am not ready to jump into a serious relationship. I have my kids half of the time and I don't want them to see some other man (especially one they know) living with me the week after I left their dad. My H (soon to be ex) does NOT know about us and it has kept the negotiating civil between us, nor does his W know (we are all friends). If he moves in it will be a bit obvious. Plus, two of our children are in the same class at school. If he does want to come stay with me I have already joked about it being okay when it actually isn't but how do I tell him that?! What have I gotten myself into now?! Help!!!!!
I am pretty sure that he has been looking for a good reason out and now I have given him one. I think he partly is leaving her because he has been miserable for so long but I also thing the other part is to be with me. How will we explain that one to the spouses/kids?!
I am meeting him for a drink this afternoon (our usual getaway). Should I imply that he should room with a friend for a while? I don't want to flat out tell him he can't stay with me because I already gave him the spare key...so he can come and go...not live with me!
I am such a horrible person. It is bad enough that I look her in the face almost everyday when I am sleeping with her H but now I TOTALLY betrayed her trust and ruined her R. Some friend I am......

whoa karen, put the brakes on girl!!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
hey karen -- of course you're using him, just as he's using you!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
TELL HIM TO GET A HOTEL ROOM!!!!! The consequences to your custody/visitation with kids (and his too, btw) are at stake. Affairs are frowned on VERY heavily in family court and even though you're separated, you are NOT free to fraternize with the other gender and any dating you do could be construed as an affair and if stb-ex wants to, he can make an issue of it in court and SERIOUSLY limit your time with the kids. DO NOT GIVE HIM AMMUNITION!!!!!
Talk to your lawyer about this, talk to OM about this, and be smart. If you and stb-ex are, indeed, able to stay amicable about this, it should all be over in a couple of months and then you can re-assess the deal with OM.
Tell him you're looking out for his interests with his children as much as you are yours. Tell him to ask his lawyer. The lawyer will back you up.
Good luck...let us know how it goes!!
Lucky
Dusty