I am psycho, obsessed, sad woman

Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
I am psycho, obsessed, sad woman
13
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 4:51pm
I just feel sometimes like I have all the strength in the world, and somedays, like crap. Today, again, NC; sent him a text message yesterday.... while at the club with a friend. was feeling less than i envisioned during the day. Felt, old, (26) fat ( thats a usual one.. ) and just horrible. Dh was at home, no doubt surfing the net, giving me is full support to go out and have fun, but just felt like a leper.

Girls in the bathroom, all trying to look their best for who, for what.. i just stood there looking at them, thinking about why i was there.. to have fun but couldn't do it. The music was great, even heard joy division ( my favorite.. ) but just wanted a pick-me -up. Drinks weren't strong enough, didn't even get a buzz from anything, and guys seemed to smell the desperation, and steered clear. I wasn't desperate for them though ( loosers.. ) just in this situation.... send OM an email today, and a text that i emailed him.. ( we do that sometimes.. )

but i just need to feel like a happy, normal woman again.. wonder if his mom has passed, wonder if his dog passed, heck, i wouldn't know if he passed as its going now.. feel like such a BIG FAT Zero.. Dh is so sweet.. just reading his book on the couch, and comes over to hug me, every few hours, so content, and i am a basket case.. just needed to vent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 9:17pm


Hi ladies....

I worry that mine is going to pass away and I will never know about it...

it's scary too me..

Mikko... I really think that you will her from him soon... but I must ask why the

A if you say that your H is the ONE.... you didn't say you are in love with him

are you??? If he is the ONE then why not forget the A and just live your life with this good man??? Why make yourself nuts like this... Is the sex good with H???

Who said they told their H about the MM ......... I've never had the nerve to admit

to anything to my stbx.

Avatar for kassieree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 11:35pm
Who really knows why women or men who are happy in their current relationship get involved with someone else. Like you mikko i am very happily married & have been for 18 years. But my problem with my DH is that we work together & so we seem to be constantly 'in each others face'. I love my DH & would never entertain the idea of leaving him but i still got involved with someone else. But then i have days like today where DH is on the phone ranting & raving about things going wrong with work & screaming at me like its my fault. I've been working many late nights cause i've gotten so far behind with a lot of my work due to different things going wrong & now i have to catch up. Many nights till 2 & 3am just trying to get on top of things because it has to be done & then he rings me thru the day & wants me to drop everything immediately cause he needs something done now & then wonders why my stuff gets so far behind. He's not the most organised person himself & the thing he needed me to do today was something he should've done weeks ago himself. I am careful not to say too much cause most of his problem at the moment is dealing with the grief over losing his father nearly a month ago. But its times like this i think 'no wonder i was looking for an escape' if you know what i mean. And to make matters worse i found my escape in someone who is the same as your OM & hasn't made contact since he moved away 3 weeks ago despite my repeated attempts. All it takes is 1 little msg saying 'i'll call when i can but can't promise it will be soon'.

So why do we make ourselves nuts over these OM? Emotions i think is the best explanation. I don't really know what i was looking for when i got involved with my MM but i never expected my emotions to get in the way like they have. And its not even the sex with this MM cause it happened once just before he went away & it wasn't even that good.

I have MSN Mikko if you'd like to chat at all but i'm in Australia so i don't know what the time difference would be. Hotmail address is same as this one.

Kaz

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 9:11am
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:48 pm ET ET by sally289

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