I am so ashamed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2007
I am so ashamed...
19
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 9:26am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 9:52pm
You know what, honey?
Carrrrrried...away2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2007
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 2:52am

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 1:33am
Hang in there, girl.
Carrrrrried...away2
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 9:41am

Time heals all wounds...


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 10:31am
<<<

I hope that she is not using this breakup and blaming it all on AP and I. I know that she must know she had a part in their relationship not being all it could have been.>>>


Was it your choice, no matter what she did or didn't do...to have a relationship with this man who had a choice no matter what she did or didnt do..to have an affair with you? I have no patience for those who are actively making choices to then seek others to spread the blame on. It seems in affairs when its good its about both of us, when its bad there is someone else to blame. Regardless of my xMM's relationship good or bad, I still chose to sleep with him and occupy his time with "relationshipy feel goods" and attention. Now that you've exosed it (and its like a tree in the woods, whether anyone hears the sound its still a tree)...its really just that now SHE knows about it. You still had an affair with a married man. Why are you wanting to make sure she takes responsibility for having ears to hear the tree fall? Because she was busy making hay? If he didn't like her making hay so much, he should've asked her not to because it was making HIM unhappy. Do you get what I am saying? Don't ask her to take blame or should you be so concerned about hoping she feels she should. Perhaps she will and they will mend their relationship. Then your affair was for good right? Please. That is and was not the point of YOU having this relationship, I am sure.


Is it possible that you only know what he had told you about her leaving him alone all the time etc? Something to chew on: just because someone choses to have an affair instead of fixing what he is unhappy about doesn't make his wife to blame for him having an affair and breaking their vows. If you don't know this woman personally or are in their house 24 hrs a day, you only know what you've been told.


Look, I know you are hurting right now. I am an xOW. But the pain is what we brought upon ourselves. Affairs are a choice. They continue to be

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 10:39am

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2007
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 2:07pm

Hello, I was away this weekend and was back on this site surfing. First my AP is not married. That does not mean he was not in a committed relationship. He did break

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 2:20pm

We all do things in the heat of the moment, crazy, irrational things. But the thing is, we can either beat ourselves up over it the whole time, or claim back our lives and get on with it. Apologise, and let that be the end of it. His GF should not be holding you solely responsible, and if she continues to make those prank phone calls, then I would suggest getting her number blocked. If anyone is to blame in all of this sorry mess, it's him. It seems like he has waited until he was 'outed' to make any sort of move. I think you may be best off leaving this man because would he have left (as he said he would) without a nice push from his GF? I don't know, doesn't sound like it.


Don't take all of the responsibility here, you made a bad choice, so what? We all do, you either live with it, or you well er live with it. Accept it, learn from it, move forward to bigger and better things. Don't answer her calls from now on, she is doing it to get at you, and to make you feel worse than you did at first. x

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2007
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 2:42pm

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