I am so done and need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2014
I am so done and need support
4
Thu, 05-29-2014 - 2:52pm

Hello all,  I have been on and off this website over the past years.  My Ap and I have been together for 8 years and he told me he loved me - well- he is a player - he lies and says he is not, but I get feelings he is - things don't add up.  I can't seem to keep this a fwb.  I don't want to leave my husband but I don't want him cheating on me either.  so we have been getting into it the past month - berbal arguing - he's calling me clingy, possessive, etc.  he also said that we can be friends, but just friends nothing more.  I am thankful for this ending, but I miss him and love him.  How do I stop thinking about him?  I hate this!  Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2014
Thu, 05-29-2014 - 3:50pm

I am in a vaguely similar position atm, my AP still wants me but at the same time has moved on to better things (I am married and he is single) I know I should let him go but it's hurting me every day. Stay strong :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 05-29-2014 - 6:18pm

Trust your instincts.Also when the fwb person states that they just want to be friends...even THAT is a lie. He doesn't want to be your friend but just states that to keep you in his pocket for when someday he gets bored or something.Your instincts are always correct...

It will take time to get over him....I'm confused though...did you say that you also have a husband too??So you love them both equally or no??

Anyways to get over the fwb guy...it will take time...you need to keep yourself busy and go out .A LOT with friends...even when you don't want to!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2014
Thu, 05-29-2014 - 6:39pm

Thank you for the support.  I went to my therapist who reminded me that my ap is a narcissist and cares only for himself.  So true.  Felt good not

checking my phone to see if he threw me a morsel of attention.  One hour at a time - I feel good when I am not "wanting fix". I am so tired from not sleeping....  Please keep in touch!  Thanks!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2014
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 2:37pm

If your gut is telling you he is a player and is lying to you than believe it. Your intuition is telling you something and I don't think you should ignore it. How do you stop thinking of him? Its not going to stop over night and you have to take it one hour, one day at a time. Keep yourself busy and distract yourself with things you love and enjoy. Its going to be tough I'm not saying its easy but you have to put that effort. The beginning is always tough but all you can do is take it one day at a time. Keep your head up and know that this is the best thing for you. Your intuition isn't nagging you for nothing.