You are doing what is best. There was once someone I liked alot. Yet I knew he had kids and a wife. He wanted to come see me after he got back from Iraq. If it had not been for the fact that I knew what it felt like to be cheated on I might would have done it. Before my husband cheated I was the one who was seeing someone else. I never really thought about how it hurt him when I told him about the other man. I was just trying to make myself feel less like a you know what! Yet when he told me about Paula, it hurt me to my core.
At that time I wondered why did he tell me at all, but then I thought perhaps I needed to know what it felt like to be hurt. This other person and I started IMing and emailing. I thought I was falling for him, but one day as I was pulling out my driveway I started to remember how the pain felt. I knew I loved my husband, but I thought I cared for the OM also. I then started to think about his wife, and children. You know I might not owe her anything , but I would never want to hurt her or their children. For any little sad face that would come from us I would be the blame. Oh yeah he would be too, but lets face it! I control this tide and where it flows. She will not have her dreams washed away because of me, her children will not have to fall on hard times because of me, my children will not hurt because of my dealings, and I will not hurt my marriage ever again. Affairs hurt so many people. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if your wants are more important that others rights? If this man wants out of his marriage fine, but it needs to be on his own. Do not feel bad about standing for what is right because in the end it just makes you someone who understands life.
Vivacious, you are so strong, I really admire you. I know you will do just fine at work tomorrow. You may cry but you will hide your tears. You may get angry enough to have to hide in the bathroom and shred toilet paper (smile!) but you can do it. And you will. Chin up girl, show that man where he can stick it! And please don't call yourself stupid for waiting, you were doing what your heart told you to do.
This is a great post..I'm going too add it to wisdom and insights on EAS..Is that ok?? I definately agree that the emotions of loss can get mixed up with the emotions of D. And it just engulfs you.
My thoughts are nearly the same as yours. I would hate for the call that he misses due to his great lust,love for her to be his child is in the emergency room. Nobody trumps children.
Pages
Edited 7/5/2009 10:45 pm ET by vivaciousgirl
You are doing what is best. There was once someone I liked alot. Yet I knew he had kids and a wife. He wanted to come see me after he got back from Iraq. If it had not been for the fact that I knew what it felt like to be cheated on I might would have done it. Before my husband cheated I was the one who was seeing someone else. I never really thought about how it hurt him when I told him about the other man. I was just trying to make myself feel less like a you know what! Yet when he told me about Paula, it hurt me to my core.
At that time I wondered why did he tell me at all, but then I thought perhaps I needed to know what it felt like to be hurt. This other person and I started IMing and emailing. I thought I was falling for him, but one day as I was pulling out my driveway I started to remember how the pain felt. I knew I loved my husband, but I thought I cared for the OM also. I then started to think about his wife, and children. You know I might not owe her anything , but I would never want to hurt her or their children. For any little sad face that would come from us I would be the blame. Oh yeah he would be too, but lets face it! I control this tide and where it flows. She will not have her dreams washed away because of me, her children will not have to fall on hard times because of me, my children will not hurt because of my dealings, and I will not hurt my marriage ever again. Affairs hurt so many people. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if your wants are more important that others rights? If this man wants out of his marriage fine, but it needs to be on his own. Do not feel bad about standing for what is right because in the end it just makes you someone who understands life.
(((((Vivaciousgirl)))))
I am so sorry you are hurt and disappointed and having all those feelings.
I definately agree that the emotions of loss can get mixed up with the emotions of D. And it just engulfs you.
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present
Edited 7/5/2009 10:46 pm ET by vivaciousgirl
Pages